Personal Value and Worth

I see a lot of women both personally and professionally devalue their skills or worth. I am guilty, too. We project our value through our self-confidence -- and this goes to our personal and professional lives. Over the years, I've seen women entrepreneurs act pleased to essentially make a small income. I remember one woman glowed over the idea she had grossed $500 in one month -- and this was her full-time business. I remember marveling over the idea that $500 would maybe pay my SMUD bill. Yet she felt validated to make so little money and literally work for pennies on the dollar. Why do we value so little about ourselves?

I know that professionally I value myself. I have always put up high standards. I know our products at 3L Publishing stand head and shoulders above the rest. Where I have failed to value myself is in my personal life. My former boyfriend constantly encourages me to value who I am. Of course, we're still very close. He values me. He once told me (and I thought it was an interesting way to think about it) that he didn't mind that we still went out all the time to do things. I suggested this might crimp his ability to get a date. He replied, "It never hurts to have a beautiful woman on your arm." I smiled.

Why if he values my very presence with him do I not value myself? I need to value who I am. I need to transfer the same self-confidence I have in business to my personal life. And if you're a woman and you perhaps do value yourself personally, but you don't professionally and you don't make the kind of money you deserve, then reverse this thought. Have the self-confidence you need to succeed.

Here are some ideas to help build confidence:

• Wake up every day and say something positive to yourself in the mirror. Perhaps you might say, "I am worth it!" that's a good start.
• Find a mantra to affirm your value and self-worth. Use that mantra on a daily basis. "I am a worthy, smart and beautiful woman, and any man is lucky to have me. I expect to be treated with respect, kindness and love." or "I am a worthy, smart and resourceful woman, anyone who works with me is lucky. I treat everyone with respect and I expect to be treated the same."
• Assert your worth. If someone mistreats you then assert your worth. You don't have to be a doormat. You can say how you feel as long as you don't assign blame.

None of these ideas will stick unless you feel it inside, which is why the mirror exercise is useful. Feel it inside and then you will exude it to the outside world, too.