First Word

Before we publish any book, I always have to have the "talk" with authors. No, the talk isn't about the birds and the bees or "It's not you, it's me." The talk is about what I'll refer to as "Amazon World". In Amazon World all the rules of customer service and effective communication are obsolete. In fact, Amazon World has no such rules or cares to have them. You have to think of Amazon as this other planet where the laws of gravity do not apply. In Amazon World, the sign "Out of Stock" hangs on the doorknob to turn customers away. The irony is the more sales your book attracts, the longer the signs hangs. The ugly outcome is the same sign also repels sales, too. I give authors the Amazon World talk. I warn them. I explain, "It's not us, it's them." But no matter how many times I give the talk, the authors' frustrations ultimately override my words, and I always receive "the email". The email is a...

I will dish on the Valentine Oscar party over the next few days. In the meantime, I had just a crazy time when I first arrived in town to promote California Girl Chronicles . My production partner Sonya Fisher and I spent the first day working and running errands to prepare for the party. It was that evening when the bad customer service stories from hell began. And if you are a business owner, please take these stories to heart. So, I'm going to give you a breakdown of the amusement. Asleep on the Job (REALLY) -- we pulled up to the Good Urth Cafe in West Hollywood. Parking was a pain and we were famished. So I made the "executive decision" to valet park. I pulled up and we looked around ... where was the valet attendant? We were confused. We looked over and we saw a guy in chair with his head down and eyes closed. The attendant was asleep on the job. We couldn't help but bust up. It was absolutely priceless. He awoke and fumbled around and parked our car -- missi...