First Word

    After another breakup where halfway through the relationship I found out that I had been deceived, I realized once again my “picker” was broken. I stayed after I uncovered the deception. I got asked why? The answer is simple: love. Once you have been swept into the deception and relationship, it makes it difficult to break it off. The lies and emotional abuse continued until I couldn’t take it anymore. So, I finally ended it. Now I faced being single again—ugh! Not again, right?!      The good news is, this time it was different. I had read and studied how to have a healthy relationship. I highly recommend you sign up for emails from online relationship experts like A New Mode, Flourish, Jason Stedman (he replaced Christian Carter), Rory O’Rourk, and others. I began voraciously reading about how men think and behave. Over many years of conscious reading, I came to understand important issues, such as setting boundaries, loving yourself, and learning to date ...

We have several great self-help books in the 3L Publishing catalog, and I'm always fortunate in that I get to edit them. Right now I am working on a book titled The Power and Light that is You by Linda Lee, which is a wonderful book that is a guide to self-empowerment. I wish I could tell my story openly and without regret, but I really can't do it for privacy reasons. I don't believe in putting self-limiting beliefs on life. The book teaches us not to limit ourselves -- that we are empowered with our mindset to explore all facets of life. In 2012 when I left my marriage I did so with the intention to find true love. If there is one thing I firmly believe now is that at age 25 vs. 48 I had no idea what I really wanted or needed from a relationship. In 2011 I had met a person who would become very important to me. After I left my marriage I decided to chase the proverbial rainbow even though many, many issues (BIG issues) arose during the pursuit of my aforementioned tru...

Continuing my little advice column (from a woman's perspective after having read about from a man's perspective). I want to continue to provide insight I have learned from reading, experience and "hands-on experience." I have never had trouble getting men to commit to a serious relationship, which has always begged the question of what I do that other women don't do. After reading and trying different approaches I noticed certain results that work and other results that don't work ... so here we go on some new tips (remember: I will be creating a Romance blog in the near future). The chase is on the wrong foot . I know the "rules" and some women just eschew the rules. These are the same women who don't get their guys. So something is to be said about the rules. So I have a friend whose ex-lover does the pursuit. I wanted to grab this gal and tell her the one thing every girl's mama should tell her: don't chase the guy ! If your man has ...

The dating advice I keep posting on this blog is moving up our most-read items. Okay, so how I got positioned as an expert on dating is kind of funny. It seems we have some love lorn out there in need of a few tips and tricks. Well, I have learned some great insight into human behavior and dating that has worked very well for me. Of course, I am not suggesting I have always done the right things. I have definitely tripped and fallen with egg on my face and a few other trite cliches I could add to that sentence LOL. But before I give you some great tips, I must credit Bo Bradley, who is also my life coach and operations manager. She was constantly in the wings advising me carefully on what to do. Some of these tips are mine, some are hers, and some are just widely adopted and known by the experts of amazing books like Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus (great book, BTW). The man cave -- yep! The guys use it. My beloved boyfriend Kirk Donnelly denies use of the man cave. I on...

So Bo Bradley, 3L Publishing's operations manager, and I are working on the book 20 Reasons not to Date THAT Guy , which we want to publish for Valentine's Day 2014. In the meantime, my astute and non-romantically challenged boyfriend Kirk Donnelly, who initially gave me the idea for the first book, declared he wanted to write the male version to help those hapless guys out there. His version has the working title The Stupid Guy's Guide to Finding and Keeping a Woman . So, he sat down over the weekend while we were eating and began his tentative table of contents. He came up with 11 things (so far), and I thought it would be great to share it with you all. Here it goes (and for the record, Mr. Donnelly practices what he preaches, which is why he got me LOL). Keep your woman happy -- it's your job! Listen to her, don't judge or solve Do what you say you're going to do in a timely manner Be a man of your word -- respect is imperative Spend time with her --...

Okay, I have to start off with an astute observation made by wonderful boyfriend Kirk Donnelly who whispers all sorts of sage wisdom in my ear. One day we were bantering back and forth in text and the discussion took a serious turn.  Suddenly, my phone rings and Kirk says, "Why the heck are we having a serious discussion in text?"  I started laughing. "I don't know sweetheart, why are we?"  "Text is no place to have a serious discussion, sweetie." LOL ...  And words to live by ... TEXTING is no place to have a serious discussion whether personally or professionally .  We are a strange techno society indeed. What is up with people using text to discuss important matters? I had a relationship where the person never picked up the phone and all the heavy stuff went down in text. First, text and email are cold media -- no voice, no inflection, no tone, and no idea of the true intent or emotions behind it. The only upside, you ca...

A funny little peak at the table of contents for the forthcoming 3L Publishing book 20 Reasons NOT to Date THAT Guy . Table of Contents Introduction Chapter 1 – The Consummate Liar: “Lie-pards” don’t change their spots Chapter 2 – Cheater, Cheater You Don’t Want Neither Chapter 3 – A What?! Commitment Phobia – Run for it! Chapter 4 – Tap! Tap! Tap! Where the hell is he? Chapter 5 – Negative Ned and You Don’t Measure Up Chapter 6 – Your Guts SCREAMS “NO” Chapter 7 – Your Momma and Your Friends Shake Theirs Heads NO Chapter 8 – It’s ALL About Him or Hell to the No! Chapter 9 – What’s a Bar of Soap? He Doesn’t Care About His Health Chapter 10 – “Wow! Your Best Friend Lisa is so HOT!” … NOT! Chapter 11 – What Do You Mean Everyone Around Me isn’t My Servant? Chapter 12 – What? You Need an Orgasm, too? Chapter 13 – His Dirty, Little Secret – YOU Chapter 14 – Generally “Goopy” Behavior is His Norm Chapter 15 – What? You Want Me to Spend Time With … Y...

Since my company is going to publish the forthcoming book 20 Reasons Not to Date THAT Guy , I thought I would give the ladies some good dating advice to help find the right guy. I've heard many stories, and I recently got divorced and successfully got on the singles market and met the right guy pretty quickly all things considered. In measuring out in my mind why I was able to meet the right guy so quickly, I decided to help my fellow single ladies. A few things before I give you all some helpful tips. I have been talking to my life coach Bo Bradley from the beginning of my divorce. I used her advice and guidance down to my decision to leave the marriage in the first place. I also talked to my girlfriends who dated a much longer list of candidates before meeting the right guy. So, I figured out some important points that even while in my dating process, I managed to stay friends with the men I dated, too. Understand what qualities you want in your man . Notice I didn't say ...

Since I've been single, I've been given plenty of advice about relationships and how to find, attract and keep a man. I receive this newsletter from a guy named Christian Carter who gives what I think is pretty good relationship advice. He's talks about attraction, relationship management, how to keep the fire burning, how to keep your man attracted, how to get him to commit, how to attract him back if his interest wanes, and on it goes. Now I've been single, married and single -- and now I'm in a serious relationship again and we're getting engaged in the near future. I spent this last year dating and meeting men all sorts of ways. Well, after reading Carter's often interesting and sage advice and reading classics such as Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and the Five Languages of Love  I realized one critical ingredient to not only attracting but keeping a man. It's not magical. It's not really a secret. Are you ready for it? (And I...

All right I am not an expert on this subject -- what is that like the warning label LOL? Well, here I go anyway. The difference in dating in my forties vs. twenties is huge. And here is what I learned. Prettier, younger and less experienced don't trump one key element to why I have more men asking me out in my older version. Men love confident, successful women. Of course, it does helps to keep your looks up, too, but here is the master secret: confidence and inner beauty shine outward. If I have consistently heard one thing over and over again from the men in my life: I don't want drama . Drama comes from where? When we act dramatic, it's because we're coming from a place of insecurity. Insecurity comes from a lack of what? Confidence in ourselves, our value and worth. Stay grounded, secure and confident and build your own life -- and dating becomes an interesting field of dreams. Build up your self-esteem and confidence -- and they will come. I can walk in a room now ...