First Word

Since I got divorced in 2012, I have been on a personal journey to find not just love, but true love a la Cinderella style. I know many "feminists" are not going to like what I have to say in this article. I'm not trying to please anyone or make a political statement. I'm going to talk about what is basic to relationships and love. I've reached these conclusions not by reading books, which I have read many self-help books, but by experience.  I will start with some points (these are points not rules).   Looking to be completed by a man, forget about it ? I'm not looking for the "you-complete-me" line -- and I'm not thinking I would want to hear it. Looking outside of yourself for completion has nothing to do with real love. If you look outside instead of inside you're very likely to never feel peace of mind. Although I don't like telling women what has become the "bubblegum" advice from dating sites, which is like Field o...

I have been waiting for you in the sky-painted night I have dreamed of you and felt you in my bed I have brushed the tips of my fingers against my wish for you I once thought I could persuade your heart Coax you into my awaiting arms Yet like a timid creature it moved, it shied away Dear Soul Mate, I am waiting Can you feel me? Do you know me? When will you come be with me? The answers are more riddles The questions more obvious Dear Soul Mate, I have waited so long now Time has ticked away Dust become ashes Timber become petrified My warm heart melting in the heat Dear Soul Mate, Are you out there? Do you hear me? Do you want me? Because I want you! Michelle Gamble

I posted this about weddings on Facebook: That's it ... SACRED. I kept trying to explain why I felt a real effort be put into having a beautiful and thoughtful wedding ceremony, and not something to be done lightly, quickly or on-the-fly. It's SACRED! That was the word , and it's a rite of passage that symbolizes your deep love and commitment. To not go through the rite of passage thoughtfully, genuinely and with great reverence for what you're doing makes it easier to throw it away and disrespect the union. The rising divorce rate and the idea that marriage is disposable has diminished the value and respect for the union. I've watched people literally get married and within months conveniently toss the relationship in the nearest "trash can". You could say marriage has become disposable and "recyclable" -- fail and try again. This accepted mentality has resulted in quickie marriages that don't  withstand the test of time, and a com...

We have several great self-help books in the 3L Publishing catalog, and I'm always fortunate in that I get to edit them. Right now I am working on a book titled The Power and Light that is You by Linda Lee, which is a wonderful book that is a guide to self-empowerment. I wish I could tell my story openly and without regret, but I really can't do it for privacy reasons. I don't believe in putting self-limiting beliefs on life. The book teaches us not to limit ourselves -- that we are empowered with our mindset to explore all facets of life. In 2012 when I left my marriage I did so with the intention to find true love. If there is one thing I firmly believe now is that at age 25 vs. 48 I had no idea what I really wanted or needed from a relationship. In 2011 I had met a person who would become very important to me. After I left my marriage I decided to chase the proverbial rainbow even though many, many issues (BIG issues) arose during the pursuit of my aforementioned tru...

All right some I'm now one year older. I don't want to write a serious blog today so I thought once more I would regale you (meaning the single guys) with ideas and assistance to help your online dating styles. As a "semi-single" gal (I'm dating just not sure who will win the crown of "boyfriend"), I do have an online profile. I do get dozens of emails a day. Yet of those dozens of emails, I have to date only answered one. "Why is that?" you ask with interest. Because of the following approaches that fall completely flat (and don't try this at home). 1. I've shared this so many times but it obviously doesn't work so here we go again ... just saying the single word "Hi". It doesn't work. Don't bother if that's the only syllable you know how to utter. How can you even start a conversation from "Hi"? You can't do much with it. Hi back? I don't think so. If your only original conversation start...

So I've signed up for those relationship advice newsletters. You know the ones -- Christian Carter and the like. He gives advice from the man's perspective for women, which I think is valuable given that a woman giving women advice about how men think probably doesn't work. I'll tell you before I get into my little "advice" (I use that word loosely) column that my only experience is my own. I've read all of the books over the years among them the famous Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus ; I've sat in the therapist's chair; I've done all of it. Here is the thing: I don't have trouble getting men to commit to me. I've never really had that problem per se. My problems go more in line with getting them and being happy with them. Getting what I want and need from my man without driving him crazy -- that would be my issue. So, what I'm going to say about "attraction" and commitment is from experience and the ability to att...

I thought I would start a little more serious a column I'm titling " Love Letters". ( You never know what's going to pop up on my blog. ) " Today's topic is about devotion. Inside the heart of every man There is a lust you understand And I'm just the same When all the love has gone away And passion stares me in the face Could I walk away Here's hopin' You'll help me to be brave Devotion save me now I don't wanna stray from the hallow ground I'll turn temptation down I'm asking you to take me to safety this time Forgive my thoughts when I'm asleep Forgive these words I'm yet to speak I feel so ashamed Right now you seem so far away So much confusion clouds my mind And I don't know which path to take Here's hopin' You'll help me to resist Devotion save me now I don't wanna stray from the hallow ground I'll turn temptation down I'm asking you to take me to safety this time Devot...

I love the sight A child chasing a butterfly fingers fluttering wings out of grasp I want to chase butterflies A woman skipping, butterfly in sight Leaping in the air Hand open and almost ... almost touching I want to capture the butterfly In my open hand Cup it in the cave of my heart Gaze through like a peep hole to beauty But the butterfly will get away Maybe I won't capture the butterfly Maybe I will open my hand instead Hold it up to the sky And wait for my butterfly Yes, wait for my butterfly ... ~ Michelle Gamble

Yours truly with Kirk Donnelly at Wright's Beach. My fiancé and I are making all sorts of plans and dreaming about our future and what we want. I was feeling rather discouraged and sniffed that at my age the fact that I no longer owned a home was depressing. I gave up a lot of different things in the divorce ("things" being the operative word). To gain my freedom, I had to free myself of essentially my material world -- a world I worked equally as hard to build as my ex-husband and yet had to give up. My brilliant, sensitive and caring fiancé slept on my lament and woke up this morning and said I needed to give myself a break. The divorce wasn't even final a year, and it takes time to rebuild. His last thought, "And you have love."  When I left my other life, I went on walk-about and then I sat back and let love find me. Kirk found me. I left my marriage to find love. Not the kind of love where the other person doesn't want to be with you. Not th...

The new book Under the Sycamores , written by first-time novelist Michael Perrotta, asks many deep, spiritual questions about love, fidelity, and the choices we make when we come to a fork in the road and have to decide which direction would best serve us. Sometimes we choose the obvious right choice that will take us deeper and into the next level of our lives, and sometimes we stay the course and may wonder if that was the right one. Now during 2012, which is considered a major transition year, many people are taking hard looks at their lives and making these choices — so this book is very timely and will resonate with many people who stand at similar forks. Under the Sycamores is the deeply personal heartfelt love story about Emilia, a married woman, who meets her “anima gemella” or “twin soul” Nicholas, and over a long weekend they form an inexplicable, unforgettable bond. Emilia must deal with morals, obligations and responsibilities as she fights her true desire to be with...