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  Chapter 4 A Day in the Life “ I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul .” – Jean Cocteau   “The Brothers”                   Have you ever heard in cat talk something called the “zoomies”? I define the zoomies in a visual and auditory way. Watching two cats racing at full speed around the house, across and over furniture, and literally up walls, that’s the zoomies (formally known as Frenetic Random Activity Pattern or FRAP). I usually hear the zoomies when the galloping starts. I can be writing at my desk and first thing in the morning, what do I hear? Gallop, gallop, gallop, crash, slide, meow, chase, race, pounce, jump, roll, and repeat . Most zooming takes place in the morning or late afternoon after a good nap has refueled the tank. I find the zoomies hilarious to watch. My desk faces the hallway so I’ve been ...

  I only wish I had caught this on video … Slurpee got up on the kitchen counter and like a bandido in fine criminal style, pulled a bag of bread down to the ground. By the time we caught him mid-steal, he had trotted off to my daughter’s bedroom with the bag in his mouth. His plan, you ask? To eat his stash under the bed. Speaking of that bed, we discovered that both Slurpee and Icee had started stealing food (cans of cat food, bread, etc.) and eating it under the bed. To suggest that cats don’t know exactly what they’re doing is wrong. The little buggers knew they would be in trouble for stealing and hoarding food, so they hid it. It reminded me of the person who hides food they know they’re not supposed to eat. But, the image of Slurpee swiping that bread and heading off to the bedroom with the loaf in his mouth … well, priceless! He looked like a dog with a ball in his mouth. I used to read this book series called Bad Kitties by Nick Bruel to my daughter Ca...

  Ah, now we have “Ice Man,” which I randomly call him. He’s the sweetest little guy I ever adopted. Icee can’t get enough pets and scratches, and he rewards you with loud purring. I love my little Icee, the kitty I never intended to adopt. Shhh … don’t tell him that one. He would be so offended. “Not adopt moi? How could you suggest such a thing. Mom, it’s me, me, me !”             I love telling Icee’s adoption story. I visited my son Cole and his partner Andrew. Andrew adores kitties, and he has a tuxedo kitty named Lucy. (I cat-sat Lucy.) Andrew wanted to adopt a pure black “void” kitty. We were at Cole’s house in Tuolumne City, and I agreed that Andrew should adopt a void. Plus, I secretly wanted to go look at the kittens. I thought it would be fun. Again, remember going to look at kittens and not adopt one is like being a diabetic in the candy store. You’re tempting your vice.       ...

A funny Help a Reporter Out (HARO) query presented the story "Five Ways Cats Improve Your Life". My cat Bill is my nemesis. So as you can see I wrote the opposite. Here are the five ways Bill doesn't improve my life. 1. The trashcan isn't there to knock over and bat around garbage -- although Bill thinks it is. Any kind of trashcan within claw's reach is fair game. Whoop! All over the floor. Who picks it up? Oh yeah, I do. 2. Just because I liked it . My favorite purse. One bite and the leather strap chewed through in one place. Tied it back together. I said to my husband, "The little shit did it because he knows I love my purse." A day later: not only did he chew both ends of each side, but he severed them. Oh by the way: it was a new purse. 3. Scars on my ankles . For some reason it's A-okay to run past me and swipe my ankles. The last time he did it he left a red, bleeding slash. I think he's a serial-kittier.  4. Scratches on my feet...

Welcome aboard Mr. Bill, 3L's newest executive in charge of "mewing." Welcome "Bill" 3L Publishing's newest addition. My feline friend has a cozy, new "desk" complete with litter box and food next to the CEO's workstation. He's my chief advisor on all things kitty. Bill is quite an expert when it comes to detecting chicken is cooking on the stove. In fact, he's so good at it, he yowled his "vote" that I bring that chicken on down! Actually, we got Bill as a stress-reduction tool. Animals are known to reduce stress. Our blood pressure goes down when we pet animals. My constant, reactive brain power was being constantly turned on by any number of stresses in my life. So, my sweetheart and intrepid fiancé kept suggesting we get a kitty to pet and love on. I love kitties. And big bonus: my daughter has wanted a kitty forever. A little note about children. I had a ridiculous suggestion that I essentially "over-analyze...