First Word

My name is Brea Harper, and I am the quintessential California girl. I am blond, fabulously tall, pretty and smart. I’m a screenwriter, but often get mistaken for an actress since I live in Los Angeles among the other pretty people. My desire to write screenplays has nothing to do with fame or glamor. I love to write. Period. It’s how I express my creativity and fulfill my artistic impulses. I live in a small apartment near Hollywood with my best friend Denise, who as you might know already, is quite a live wire and loads of fun. Last I told you, she was having an affair with her boss at the software company where she works. They’re still screwing all over the building, but they see other people. Another dear and new friend is Maya, my feisty and fierce Latina friend, who works for my former lover Kale. Ah, Kale – now you are probably wondering what happened after I betrayed my blond Adonis producer-boyfriend Kale with that loser Drew. Well, the night in quest...

I always notice little marketing ploys or things in business that I find absurd. I was out last weekend at Northstar and among the snack shacks (that were closed incidentally) was this little glass-enclosed structure called the Euro Snack. Hmm ... what might the "Euro" Snack sell? Maybe some unique European snack foods (hence the name). I laughed. They offered "French" hotdogs. I thought, where did the hotdog come from? Germany maybe ... but France? I didn't know hotdogs were a French specialty, but to further my amusement they were "frog" dogs. Now I don't know about you, but frog isn't really a common snack food. And it's not necessarily something I want in my hotdog. Well, honestly I don't eat hotdogs unless I'm desperately hungry for non-sugary snacks at the theater (and we'll call that true desperation). It's scary when the ingredients add the word "filler" as in filled with unknown substances. Well, back to...

I can't think of anything meaningful to share this morning, so I'll just amuse and entertain you. Here is a list of things I find hard not to do... Touch my face : are you smiling. You know they say to avoid spreading germs try not to touch your face. Don't rub your eyes if you're on an airplane (for example) to avoid spreading germs. Of course, the minute I think, "Don't touch it," I just can't seem to stop myself. I feel an itch. Oh, it's my nose. My eye is bothering me ... and on and on it goes. Avoid being the first to text my man . I said in the last blog not to be the chaser. Sometimes though the urge to hit the text first just can't be quelled. I am pretty good, though. I would say out of seven days, I usually score about five out of seven ... well maybe more like four out of seven ... no, five ... LOL. Depends on the week. Girls keep him on his toes. Make and try not to break the first-text rule. Remember what I said, "Guys l...

I've decided that today is going to be "rambling blog day" and let's meander off into the unimportant, meaningless, trivial and super entertaining. I just wrote all of these serious blogs, so it's time to be un-serious ... it's a super un-serious day. I actually got my day off right. My special someone texted me funny jokes to get the morning moving. Of course, I was decidedly serious because I hadn't had my coffee yet. Coffee is the jumpstart for the funny bone. In fact, coffee is the great jumpstart for everything, including my will to get out of bed (I know you're all nodding now). Well, in the better news and announcements department, I am moving north again. I should be back in Northern California by month's end. My same friend asked if I was near water. Darn it! I was so eager to get back, I forgot to search for a "room with a view." Oh well, at least I will be back at my home base. So, this is truly a go-nowhere blog full of meanin...

In one of the quietest, little movies of the year that stirs up big emotions, we find ourselves in the world of a Adam, a young man diagnosed with a rare back cancer. I knew I wanted to see this movie, and it came as no surprise it was a great movie since it had been nominated for numerous awards. I was surprised that it wasn't exactly your typical movie about life, death and the big C. It moved with a slow, visceral build with a very intimate look at Adam's reaction and slow meltdown and eruption as he realizes, yeah, hey he could die. The scene where this realization finally hits him is superb. Adam, who doesn't drive for fear he could die (yes, the irony is not lost), decides to grab the wheel when his best friend played by the low-key Seth Rogen gets too drunk to drive. Adam, who at this point has been pretty controlled about the whole thing, finally lets loose on the car and not only drives recklessly but pounds the steering wheel, letting go of loads of pent-up anger ...

My favorite funny moments from book two of California Girl Chronicles, Brea’s Big Break:  REAL BODY PARTS “And you think you’re going to get somewhere with me like that?” I flatly asked. Johnny looked up, quit eating, and looked me right in the eyes. “Fuck no!” he retorted. “You’re hot and nice. I like you. And I like that you have real body parts,” he chuckled as he looked down to take another bite. I looked down at my body parts and nodded, “Yep! Real! No one would purposefully make their boobs this small,” I said with a laugh.  I CUT HER HAIR As Johnny talked about the business and his encounters on various movie sets, I started to like him. He was candid and enthusiastic about acting and his craft. He mentioned his last girlfriend was a major film star, but he would not divulge whom. He did say he met her when he played a small role in her film. He said she was down-to-earth but had this strange obsession with her hair. She wanted to become famous for her hair like Jennif...

It's a holiday and a Monday, so I thought today would be a great day to have a little fun on the blog. I wrote California Girl Chronicles to include humor. What I did not realize is that the humor would be one of the stand-out parts of the book (I kind of thought all that sex would eclipse the humor ... just saying). It turns out the humorous parts are being praised by both readers and critics. So, it's a holiday, and I feel some fun coming on. Here are some humorous moments from book one Brea and the City of Plastic . Hungrier than Horny I decided no way was Lance going to get the “pooty” unless he paid for a great meal. I also felt he should make an effort at some kind of real conversation perhaps over at least raspberry muffins and Folgers coffee at Denny’s coffee shop. Food is food – and I’m hungrier than I am horny.  Clean Teeth or McNuggets When we passed a McDonald’s, I had an urge to ask for a Chicken McNuggets Happy Meal. “Oh, a little honey and pressed-chicken st...

I now get "fan" mail from people who read my newsletter or other projects. I love that people enjoy what I'm writing and get a big kick out of it. I was talking to a gal the other day that said if my newsletter didn't show up in her in-box every Sunday morning she would be worried ... oh, and disappointed. I hear that all of the time, which says a lot about the power of consistency when marketing your business or product. I also get asked how to write comedically, which is a tough question. So, let's see if I can dissect it some way that makes sense of the nonsensical. Let's start with the basics: sense of humor or more like do you have one ? I know, I know that's off the charts madness to believe that one requires a sense of humor to writing something funny. Mind you, I'm not talking about stand-up comedy. I am talking about writing. Believe it or not those are two entirely different art forms. Although I did have a gal tell me I should do stand-up,...