First Word

Readers on this blog seem to be enjoying funny clips from my two upcoming books We're All Dead and California Girl Chronicles: Brea and the City of Plastic, the second book in the series. Since it's Saturday and all work and no play makes a very boring girl, here are some clips to entertain you. We're All Dead “Fantastic!” I cried in my gleeful state before I realized I had not quite formed a plan. “Damn it!” I thought but did not dare speak aloud. A great warrior king cannot allow his subjects to realize he was no smart enough to form an actual plan of attack. I looked at my brother who was shuffling back and forth and had snatched a mouse he was now sucking like a rodent-pop. Oh wretched vampire and messy eater! I lost my temper. He had dribbled blood on his white blouse that had ruffled fringes, which looked straight out of the Victorian era. “No messy eating!” I roared like a lion. California Girl Chronicles: Brea's Big Break Johnny stood in the door...

The thing about writing funny scenes (for me) is that I can't force the humor. If you stand there and tell me, "Be funny now," I'll stare at you with one of those blank deer looks. In fact, I would be terrible if someone asked me to write in a group and make it funny. Again, blank, uncomfortable stare on my face and absolutely no idea. Yet throw me in a situation where human behavior takes place at random, and I become the narrator of the place. Better yet, do something annoying, and I don't get annoyed, I just make a string of quips. When I'm writing humorous material, I have to be left alone with my quirky mind to run amok on the page. What truly amazes me is when I start a scene and the material evolves on its own without a direct push from my logical thinking. Here is one of my favorite jokes from the script Beauty School . Let me set the scene, our resident fool Bo is attempting to do a little girl's hair with some funny consequences from his own in...

Sometimes all you have is your sense of humor. A fellow writer friend reminded me the other day of the time when our company was hiring a writer and the human resources person said the only necessary skill one needed to be a writer was the ability to type. I believe the quote went something like this, "It's just typing." Well said HR lady! Yup, just typing. I think that line needs to go in my Hall of Infamy. What are some other professions we can reduce to (a-hem) a "fundamental" level. Okay, here we go ... Fine art ... it's just painting. Accounting ... it's just adding and subtracting. Electrician ... it's just a light switch. Teacher ... it's just babysitting. Manager ... it's just a job. Chef ... it's just food. Publicist ... it's just hype. Acting ... it's just pretend. I could go on (and I hope you found that list entertaining). All of these professions require skill and talent albeit different skills and talents,...