First Word

3 Colonel Baptista After the bloody skirmish at SuperCon, I returned to my light-tight love nest. Donatello lay sprawled across our red-velvet couch. She was eating a box of See’s Candy presumable to restore her own blood sugar. She rested her eyes on my blood-soaked clothes and jumped to her feet. “My liege! Oh the horror! Bloody rags!” she gasped. I stridently walked toward the stairwell and upstairs. She trailed right behind me. I knew she was deeply concerned for her lover and master. I couldn’t stand to be in soiled, bloody clothes much longer. The horror and foulness of it all had my vampire blood boiling over in rage. I was in a bad mood and wouldn’t feel better till I was clothed in April fresh silk pajamas. Donatallo knew how much I despised messy eaters and blood droplets that stained clothes. I was a neat king and a very tidy eater – and this blood bath on my clothes would not do. I walked straight into my bedroom and whipped off the clothes in a blink...

Introduction Why We’re All Dead I am the last free man on Earth. I think. In vampire terms, though, I am a free-range human. Actually, maybe I am being slightly melodramatic. I saw the second-to-the last woman on Earth about three weeks ago when I was wondering the Apocalyptic Highway to Hell. She looked awful and complained about the blisters on her feet. No sooner did I meet her in her all tired and dirty, that night a vamp flew in out the darkness and scooped her up. I have no idea where the dude took her. These stinking vamps and their flying talents – they’re like those nasty spider monkeys and swoop in and grab you to carry you off to suck on you for weeks. They do feed you, though, to keep you alive so that’s pretty good. Some people kind of like it and become super happy companions with their dead masters. I’ve even heard of some vamps marrying their human food source, and everyone is all fat and happy about it, throwing god damne...

Welcome back my campy True Blood characters as June 22nd marks the beginning of the end of this truly unique vampire show that even from a non-vampire lover such as I managed to be absorbed  season after season. I have read that the sexy Viking vamp Eric Northman as played by the red-hot Alexander Skarsgard (my future daughter-in-law and I had quite a conversation about sexy men, and we had a mutual meeting of the minds that Skarsgard AKA Skarscandy wins! Well, she did have an admiration for Tatum Channing, which I can feel her on). I did ask Kirk for a hall pass should I run into Skarsgard and his eyes narrowed and he scoffed, "No! You're too pretty! He would probably go for it." LMAO ... maybe ... ;). Last season sadly went down the tubes as creator and executive producer (and master storyteller) Alan Ball stepped down and his directing team and head writers stepped up. The story line took on this discriminatory hate theme that ended with our favorite vamps locked aw...

As many of my followers know, I love the HBO series  True Blood ; but many of you may have noticed I am not doing episode reviews this season. A friend of mine was watching an episode with me and made a comment that completely cemented why the show hasn't captivated my interest as much this season -- Sookie. He said, "Isn't the show supposed to revolve around her? It's all about vampires." I affirmed, "Yes, it's supposed to center on her." In the beginning, the show did, in fact, center on Sookie. After about the fourth season, it lost its focus. This season's storyline with Warlow was intriguing with the fairy/vampire hybrid and ability to walk in the sun. The Sookie/Warlow romance became just about 1/4 of the show and took a backseat to the Vampire "Internment Camp" story line that became the primary story that affected everything else. In fact, we saw more of Bill and the internment camp scenarios than anything else. When Sookie a...