Five Ways Bill Doesn't Improve my Life
A funny Help a Reporter Out (HARO) query presented the story "Five Ways Cats Improve Your Life". My cat Bill is my nemesis. So as you can see I wrote the opposite. Here are the five ways Bill doesn't improve my life. 1. The trashcan isn't there to knock over and bat around garbage -- although Bill thinks it is. Any kind of trashcan within claw's reach is fair game. Whoop! All over the floor. Who picks it up? Oh yeah, I do. 2. Just because I liked it . My favorite purse. One bite and the leather strap chewed through in one place. Tied it back together. I said to my husband, "The little shit did it because he knows I love my purse." A day later: not only did he chew both ends of each side, but he severed them. Oh by the way: it was a new purse. 3. Scars on my ankles . For some reason it's A-okay to run past me and swipe my ankles. The last time he did it he left a red, bleeding slash. I think he's a serial-kittier. 4. Scratches on my feet...