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Do you ever look at some women entrepreneurs or executives and wonder, "How did they get to be so confident?" Sometimes it's a mindset and sometimes it's just practice. So, here are 15 Secrets every woman should know to become more confident any anything she does. 1. Confidence comes from knowing your area of expertise so thoroughly that you speak about it with complete certainty and unwavering knowledge. 2. Even when you're feeling a little wobbly, use your body language to convey the opposite -- stand up straight, hold your head high, ground yourself, and just "look the part." 3. Act as-if until you just are -- this means you "fake it till you make it." For example, when I started my business and had no clients, I still went to my desk everyday and acted "as-if" I had clients until one day I did indeed have real clients. 4. Dress the part -- our clothes can actually increase our confidence when we feel good in them. Th...

Selwa Berbawy Hamati Author | Speaker | Certified Life Coach   Q. What is Real Resilience about? A. This book is written to inspire and give practical tools to those who are ready to make a positive change in their lives. Many people have already headed in a new direction, and this pandemic has turned into their opportunity to reinvent themselves by changing their daily routines, priorities, and businesses or careers, and I share some of their stories. Someday when COVID-19 fades away, another virus or some other catastrophe can and will take place. I want people to learn how to be really resilient now to be prepared to handle whatever happens. Q. What does resilience mean to you? A. “Resilience: the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” This is the dictionary definition of resilience. Of course, I agree with that definition. I also believe that there’s more to this capacity to recover quickly—part of recovering is coming back stronge...

I haven't been blogging much on the personal side of my life. Maybe as I transformed my life for just this once I decided it didn't need to be on public display. Now that I'm on the other side of the transformation and floating nicely in the current of my life, I'm going to open up. When I share my personal life, it's an endeavor to help enlighten others. If I can give back to the world through the lessons of life experience hopefully you'll either avoid the same pitfalls or nod and laugh, thinking, "Yes!" Something important happened in the last year. Something quite literally "mind altering". After falling into the depth of depression and suffering some major life changes and losses, I woke up. I looked at my life and I wondered, "How did I get here?" I was broke, heart broken, and depressed. I had allowed negativity to take over my positive outlook. I had allowed the negative to cloud the positive. I was living in perpetu...

New book Step Aside, Get Out of Your Own Way is written to help people find that elusive feeling – happiness. SACRAMENTO , Calif.—It appears feeling happy in America has become as faded as overall optimism. In 2013, TIME magazine conducted a poll in which 59 percent of respondents admitted they were happy most of the time, and even fewer people considered themselves optimists (50 percent). So how do you achieve happiness during an ever-increasing stressful era of unrest and pervasive domestic and international problems that can plague your life? Author Syndee Hendricks has the solution with the launch of her new book in which the title aptly states its goal for readers, Step Aside, Get Out of Your Own Way . “If you are like many of us, you have that little voice inside your head relaying all kind of chatter and information – some of which I am certain you do now want to hear. Right?” said Hendricks in the book. “ You think that little voice (LV or ...

1.         Why did you decide to write Step Aside, Get Out of Your Own Way? While facilitating workshops, I found many participants were not able to afford coaching to improve their lives and then go on to fulfill their life's purpose.  I wanted to offer some of my coaching and tools to them and anyone who wanted to improve their lives for the price of a book. 2.         What was your greatest challenge in writing the book? Writing the book was the easiest part of the process.  It’s in the details to creating the book that was challenging and time consuming!  I’m so fortunate to have had a seasoned professional publisher who was able to meet the challenges. 3.         How did you find 3L Publishing and why did you decide to work with them? I had known Bo Bradley previously and found Michelle Gamble-Risley through her.  When I finished the Table...

I have had this said to me now enough times that I think I'll comment. A common comment people make to me is that (for someone who looks the way I do ... which I don't connect with the idea that looks give you any entitlement ... if DNA blessed you over someone else that is good fortune) for someone who looks the way I do I'm down to earth and so nice and kind. All right so this is the "lecture" of the day. Looks or good looks or anything related doesn't give anyone a ticket to treat other people badly. If I hadn't had so many people make these general comments about me enough times I wouldn't have thought much about it. But after a series of comments, I did start to think about it. After at least a dozen people having made similar statements, I pondered "skin deep" and just got turned off at the thought of women using their looks to get things or manipulate others. Your looks don't give you a hall pass to abuse others or take advantage o...

Today's blog is personal. Several friends have been going through some hard times. After I had my own front-row seat on the show called "Hard Times" I've learned a thing or two. The worst cliché in the world that no one wants to hear turns out to be the truest truth: Time heals all. No one wants to hear that kind of platitude when they're hurting. What good does that do right when you're feel terrible? Most of us would prefer an instant-fix-it-now pill. Sitting in the puddle of our pain and disappointment as we wait for it to evaporate is a wet proposition. You can't dry until it evaporates. In the meantime you get to soak it all in -- good, bad, painful, real and present. Can't make it dry any sooner than it will dry. Can't escape the feeling -- it still is wet. And while this next piece of advice doesn't make it any better it's simple truth: sit in it, feel it, soak it in, and accept it. Yes, you're going to feel it for sure, and it...

Already impressed by Josh Mathe's new book In the Footsteps of Greatness , I sat down to my own writers' group ( Writers Who Mean Business ) last night to listen to his presentation on the subject. Kudos to Josh for a dramatic home run. As his publisher and publicist I want to point to why Josh's presentation was well done. Organized and thoughtful . He had created a PowerPoint he kept on his iPad so as he went through the slides he had it there to prompt him, but he didn't rely on it per se. He referenced it. Targeted and on message . He knew what he was talking about and (more importantly) WHO he was talking to. He was discussing "how he wrote his memoir" to give other writers fresh perspective and ideas. Natural and easygoing . He was "authentic" (as he described it) and relaxed. He wasn't try to sell anyone on his book. He was naturally and effortlessly leading the audience along through his message. In other words, Josh acted like ... ...

Sometimes you just got to throw your hands up, shrug and say, "I don't know!" Life doesn't always serve up answers to questions in one swift reply. Sometimes I wish it would! Much is unknown as our life unfolds. We want to see the road ahead. We wish to know our futures. We go to psychics for hope of answers (some of us do). Sometimes we get answers we don't want to hear. Sometimes we get answers that make no sense. And sometimes we get no answer at all. To achieve true peace in life you have to let go. You have to be willing to surrender to your higher power, and when the time comes to make a choice, let your inner voice guide you. Is this easy? No! We all think we can control life, but we can really only control ourselves. We can only control how we chose to respond. We can empower ourselves. We can make good decisions. We can let the questions stand without answers. It is easy for me to write this information. It is harder for me to live it. I would imagine...

In my "throw myself on the funeral pyre of martyrdom," I had an epiphany. I am generous to the point I found that I was often taken advantage of. No realizing or necessarily discerning the difference between helping, being taken advantage of, or just plain being robbed LOL ... I set myself into an unproductive mindset. Always "other" focused and concerned with client needs vs. my own needs, I began to see an erosion in profits, and I started to struggle. Blame part of it on the economy, part of it marketplace competition, and part of it on -- me. I recently was invited to work on a project that once launched would be a tremendous profit center. I immediately felt "profit guilt pangs": what gave me the right to create such a profitable business model? Why should I make that much money? Anyone out there hearing this and realizing they suffer from "profit guilt pangs"? Doesn't this make me greedy? I had a whole litany of thoughts like these tr...

As is the case in life, we have things we like and we don't like ... I have a very balanced list designed to either make you nod or write me a protest letter. Here it goes ... Arrogance + Ignorance = :( --I don't like arrogance not in the least. Arrogant people think they know everything, and it almost seems they don't know anything. Arrogant people try to tell me things that my educated mind refutes, but also they stand on it like it's a solid platform. I especially dislike arrogant people whose opinion about something like my profession that I do know backward and forward turns into absolute truth (for them) and they seem to know so much they will take it upon themselves to argue and argue and argue. Well, truth is ... I won't engage so that's a waste of time anyway. Humble, Open Willing --I DO like humble people. Humility goes a long way toward success and an open willingness to learn and understand that by God's grace, "No, you don't know ev...

I have always been one to follow my instincts -- your gut tells the truth even when your mind resists. Gut-reactions are the ones that speak the initial truth. It is only our minds that cloud the issue and drum up questions or my all-time favorite, "Why?" A client of mine was talking to me about the book Blink b y Malcolm Gladwell, and he said its theory is that we size up stuff pretty much in a "blink" of the eye. I agree. Our senses tell us everything we need to know quickly. It is only our minds that interfere in the obvious. Some people might even say it's psychic, and I'm willing to go along with that assessment too -- part gut, part observation, part psychic. You have two self-empowerment tools you probably didn't realize were at your disposal: your gut and your ability to trust your gut. Problem is (as this applies to women especially with men who are "players" or don't have pure intentions) many people will have that gut-reaction ...

I used to work with a guy who said that every time we were on deadline for the magazine. I thought it was funny and pretty true. Stress is something we perceive. It's how we manage that perception that can either feel stressful or not. Think about it. Unless someone really is firing a gun at you maybe life isn't as stressful and you "feel" it is. I always liked what the book The Secret said about time: there is always enough time. I was thinking about stress because I was running late for a meeting yesterday. The phrase, there is always enough time soothed me in that moment. The "stress" melted away. Perception! I perceived it stressful because I was running late. But when I put a different message through my mind, the stress alleviated itself. My point is most stress is about perception and what we put on ourselves. Our self-talk is directly related to our stress levels. I'll give you another example. For some unexplainable reason I put a lot of p...

Yesterday was a WHOPPER! My valuable operations manager changed jobs. My new operations manager really hasn't assumed her post yet. The last two weeks I've been juggling essentially two jobs. Yesterday I had to print up the Amazon orders and what happens? The printer breaks! Ugh! So now I have to go pick up books and stop at Kinko's to print up orders. I get to Kinko's and pull up the orders (this after picking up books) and darn it! They added a NEW order just that day. And I can't find the first order in the system. Now I don't have the right books to fill orders. Ugh! Thoroughly frazzled I do what I can and fill the second order since I can't find the first order. Oh, and my 2013 taxes have not come back in and no word from the accountant. To owe or not to owe is the question. I meet with my life coach who says I seem very "fragile" and I only laugh. Fragile because of so many personal and professional changes (some good some not so much). I...

I am being tested, and I decided to take the challenge. Mindset and belief in one's self are important. Keep a positive mindset every day. Believe in your own ability to be responsible for your life. Be a beacon of positivity to attract everything you need for your highest good. I have several mantras I use when I meditate to help point my life in a positive direction. I make a lot of money easily and frequently and I am grateful for everything I have. I am attracting everything I need now, and I am grateful for my abundant life. The flow of life brings me everything I need to achieve success. Today I surrender to the Universe and trust it to bring me whatever will serve my highest good. And I wrote these for the blog to share with you. For everything that happens you can see a reaction as either positive or negative. I choose to see it all as positive. My life is opening to serving my highest good. Today I surrender and believe all that is amazing, wonderful and positive...

Recent life chats with friends have brought up the roller coaster theme. One of my friends asked me, "Are you ever going to get off the ride, because at some point you might want to do that." Another friend who is less skeptical of roller coaster rides talked about it differently. I liked her reflections on life's roller coaster ride. She said, "Would you rather take the ride with your hands in the air and a smile on your face? Or would you rather scream all the way through it?" Love that question. I told her once about roller coasters, "I used to be afraid of them. And then one day I thought, "Well, hell nobody really ever dies on the ride so go with it." Life is full of ups and downs as I'm sure you've now picked up on the metaphor. I'm exploring my feelings about a long-time relationship I've had where there have been many extraordinary highs and some definite lows. I'll be honest, I've spent most of the ride screa...

I have a confession: I periodically get depressed. My cycle influences that depression, too. I am normally an upbeat, positive person, but I definitely get struck by sadness and uncertainty. I'm one of those people who likes to know where the road is going in life and when things start to as I put it yesterday "drift" along, I find hard to let go and just see where life is going to take me. So for all of you "control freaks" out there, here is what I've learned and let's see if it helps. Control is an illusion : you all know that don't you? As humans we think we're mighty and in control. Reality is control works like this: I can control my thoughts, actions and behavior. The rest ... strictly up to God or the other person. You can't make anybody do anything. The ideal is for that person to want to do things. You can set up conditions where the other person will want to do something, but that is all. Thinking that you can control everything ...

About the 10th time the cat's paw reached up and grabbed my hand on the mouse, I thought, "I'm going to come unglued." Then the paw reached up and scratched me, "That's it! I AM coming unglued." Ever feel that about work and life? Americans are a bunch of unglued workaholics ... well, not all but many. My friend the other day said to me, "You're CEO. You don't get to give your 100 percent; you always have to give your 110 percent every single day." He's right. I know all you CEOs and entrepreneurs out there are nodding. It's not enough to give only a 100 percent and call it a day. The demands of the business, including the ongoing financial demands to keep the framework and walls all in place take a lot of effort. As owner of the company I am responsible for it all. I have to keep the "glue" going. But some days I just feel unglued, especially when the obnoxious cat won't stop clawing my busy typing fingers. BUT ...

So Bo Bradley, 3L Publishing's operations manager, and I are working on the book 20 Reasons not to Date THAT Guy , which we want to publish for Valentine's Day 2014. In the meantime, my astute and non-romantically challenged boyfriend Kirk Donnelly, who initially gave me the idea for the first book, declared he wanted to write the male version to help those hapless guys out there. His version has the working title The Stupid Guy's Guide to Finding and Keeping a Woman . So, he sat down over the weekend while we were eating and began his tentative table of contents. He came up with 11 things (so far), and I thought it would be great to share it with you all. Here it goes (and for the record, Mr. Donnelly practices what he preaches, which is why he got me LOL). Keep your woman happy -- it's your job! Listen to her, don't judge or solve Do what you say you're going to do in a timely manner Be a man of your word -- respect is imperative Spend time with her --...

Study the base look into the light see the formation just prepare for flight Hire the foreman give him the sight trust your instincts and follow the right Pour the foundation see it all wet know you patience don't get in the fret Watch it gel see it all dry don't get in a hurry just be shy Now is the sunrise the time and place prepare for the walk and get in the pace Now is the time Now is the space begin the journey but don't make it a race Enjoy each moment revel in the emotion move through and forward and dive into the deep, blue ocean ~ Michelle Gamble-Risley