First Word

I posted this about weddings on Facebook: That's it ... SACRED. I kept trying to explain why I felt a real effort be put into having a beautiful and thoughtful wedding ceremony, and not something to be done lightly, quickly or on-the-fly. It's SACRED! That was the word , and it's a rite of passage that symbolizes your deep love and commitment. To not go through the rite of passage thoughtfully, genuinely and with great reverence for what you're doing makes it easier to throw it away and disrespect the union. The rising divorce rate and the idea that marriage is disposable has diminished the value and respect for the union. I've watched people literally get married and within months conveniently toss the relationship in the nearest "trash can". You could say marriage has become disposable and "recyclable" -- fail and try again. This accepted mentality has resulted in quickie marriages that don't  withstand the test of time, and a com...

We have several great self-help books in the 3L Publishing catalog, and I'm always fortunate in that I get to edit them. Right now I am working on a book titled The Power and Light that is You by Linda Lee, which is a wonderful book that is a guide to self-empowerment. I wish I could tell my story openly and without regret, but I really can't do it for privacy reasons. I don't believe in putting self-limiting beliefs on life. The book teaches us not to limit ourselves -- that we are empowered with our mindset to explore all facets of life. In 2012 when I left my marriage I did so with the intention to find true love. If there is one thing I firmly believe now is that at age 25 vs. 48 I had no idea what I really wanted or needed from a relationship. In 2011 I had met a person who would become very important to me. After I left my marriage I decided to chase the proverbial rainbow even though many, many issues (BIG issues) arose during the pursuit of my aforementioned tru...

All right some I'm now one year older. I don't want to write a serious blog today so I thought once more I would regale you (meaning the single guys) with ideas and assistance to help your online dating styles. As a "semi-single" gal (I'm dating just not sure who will win the crown of "boyfriend"), I do have an online profile. I do get dozens of emails a day. Yet of those dozens of emails, I have to date only answered one. "Why is that?" you ask with interest. Because of the following approaches that fall completely flat (and don't try this at home). 1. I've shared this so many times but it obviously doesn't work so here we go again ... just saying the single word "Hi". It doesn't work. Don't bother if that's the only syllable you know how to utter. How can you even start a conversation from "Hi"? You can't do much with it. Hi back? I don't think so. If your only original conversation start...

Continuing my little advice column (from a woman's perspective after having read about from a man's perspective). I want to continue to provide insight I have learned from reading, experience and "hands-on experience." I have never had trouble getting men to commit to a serious relationship, which has always begged the question of what I do that other women don't do. After reading and trying different approaches I noticed certain results that work and other results that don't work ... so here we go on some new tips (remember: I will be creating a Romance blog in the near future). The chase is on the wrong foot . I know the "rules" and some women just eschew the rules. These are the same women who don't get their guys. So something is to be said about the rules. So I have a friend whose ex-lover does the pursuit. I wanted to grab this gal and tell her the one thing every girl's mama should tell her: don't chase the guy ! If your man has ...

So I've signed up for those relationship advice newsletters. You know the ones -- Christian Carter and the like. He gives advice from the man's perspective for women, which I think is valuable given that a woman giving women advice about how men think probably doesn't work. I'll tell you before I get into my little "advice" (I use that word loosely) column that my only experience is my own. I've read all of the books over the years among them the famous Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus ; I've sat in the therapist's chair; I've done all of it. Here is the thing: I don't have trouble getting men to commit to me. I've never really had that problem per se. My problems go more in line with getting them and being happy with them. Getting what I want and need from my man without driving him crazy -- that would be my issue. So, what I'm going to say about "attraction" and commitment is from experience and the ability to att...

Yours truly with Kirk Donnelly at Wright's Beach. My fiancé and I are making all sorts of plans and dreaming about our future and what we want. I was feeling rather discouraged and sniffed that at my age the fact that I no longer owned a home was depressing. I gave up a lot of different things in the divorce ("things" being the operative word). To gain my freedom, I had to free myself of essentially my material world -- a world I worked equally as hard to build as my ex-husband and yet had to give up. My brilliant, sensitive and caring fiancé slept on my lament and woke up this morning and said I needed to give myself a break. The divorce wasn't even final a year, and it takes time to rebuild. His last thought, "And you have love."  When I left my other life, I went on walk-about and then I sat back and let love find me. Kirk found me. I left my marriage to find love. Not the kind of love where the other person doesn't want to be with you. Not th...

Here I am with my second cup of coffee in me (I try to drink only one cup, but lately I keep sipping a second), and I'm contemplating what I will share with you. Today ... hmmm ... let's go personal inspiration. Here is a piece of information: it took me 20 years to finally get my professional AND personal life right . I now have my company 3L Publishing on track. At the same time, I have my personal life working at an optimal level. I cannot really talk about the "what-went-wrong" part in my personal life, as my divorce agreement stipulates that I cannot publicly discuss it. I can, however, generally say that reducing one's expectations is the first step toward unhappiness. I used to say, "Expect nothing and be happy with what you get." My fiancé Kirk Donnelly heard that and groaned, "How sad." Yes, I was living a life of "sub-zero expectations." Are you living like that? Do you expect nothing from your partner, and then you're ...

If there is anything I know is this: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the kiss of death when those behaviors killed your relationship and you expect them not to affect a new relationship. It's like the suggestion of doing something the same but expecting different results. When in a new relationship, use your old relationship as your instruction guide of what not to do again. Here are some fabulous tips to help create strong bonds with your significant other versus tear apart something that starts out strong and soon disintegrates. Now mind you I'm not a psychologist or counselor, but I am a student of life. TV killed the Love Stars . How many of you out there come home from work, sit down, and watch TV all evening vs. talking to your partner? How many of you actually eat dinner in front of the TV? There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little TV here and there; but when the television becomes the focal point of entertainment in y...