My Favorite Vengeance is Now Quotes

The forthcoming 3L Publishing book Vengeance is Now by Scott D. Roberts is loaded with absolutely entertaining and funny moments. Roberts is a screenwriter so it's not surprising that some of the dialog is priceless. I thought I would pull out some of my favorite quotes from the book for your enjoyment. The book will be available for advanced release on the 3L Publishing website (www.3LPublishing.com) only and release nationally on Amazon and into bookstores in May 2013. 

“Nothing says I love you like a fake abduction." ~ Tate Holloway

"Bonnie called," notified Rita cent n’all, "Now that you're innocent n'all the thought of you being a fugitive turned her on. She’s willing to pay triple n’all if you dress in a prison jumpsuit. She wants to be the naughty prison warden.” ~ Rita Jones

He remembered the first time he met her at the precinct and his girlfriend at the time brought him lunch. He walked by her desk and introduced himself.

“Welcome aboard, I’m Detective Holloway,” offered Tate.

“Well, howdy, Detective,” she said. “Don’t y’all ever sleep around here? You look like shit.” Rita continued, “And that was so nice n’ all of your daughter to bring you lunch.”

Could you imagine if there was a table set up with a sign that read: Sign up here to get paid to have sex with wealthy women? That line would’ve curled around the gym three times and the people that operated the other career tables would’ve been twiddling their thumbs — and then getting in line themselves. Not to mention, Tate had a couple of close friends on the girls’ softball team that would have cut in that line.

“She’s not answering and probably won’t ‘cause she’s embarrassed,” responded Rita. “Maybe she saw the enormous bulge in your pants n’all — and she knew she couldn’t handle your manhood.”

“Yeah right,” he laughed. “Chicks hate big dicks. They’d much rather sit on a Vienna sausage.”

“How ‘bout I grill up some steaks and pop a good merlot?”

“Will we be naked?” she asked. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” responded Tate.

“You’re married, dude,” quipped Ramon. “Who gives a fuck how you look, bro?”

“Just wait ‘til you turn 40,” lectured Steve. “You’ll understand what I’m talking about.”

"We'll be flying around in spaceships and shit by then," laughed Ramon.

“Fuck off,” joked Steve.

“Don’t worry bro,” chuckled Ramon. “You’ll have that Alzheimer’s shit and won’t remember any of this.”