And Just Like That ... Our Lovely Ladies Get Tossed Under the Bus

 

This is a discussion that is near and dear to my heart -- aging gracefully. I happen to be the same age as the "girls" on the HBO reboot of Sex and the City titled And Just Like That ... Now I have some criticism of the story lines (Samantha's reason for being absent from the show ... the Samantha I loved would never have tossed out Carrie over a failed publicity campaign.) However, I'm digressing off the topic, which is sexist ageism. 

First, kudos to Cynthia Nixon, who among the cast doesn't appear to have messed with her face. I love Miranda's realistic gray hair and how she embraced the fact she's an older woman. Sarah Jessica Parker actually looks much better than she did in the movies where she clearly had her eyes done, which changed her natural appearance. Kirstin Davies' obvious implants and lip work didn't look so great. 

My point is not to "plastic surgery" shame anyone. I want to discuss why women aren't aging gracefully in Hollywood. Great actresses like Helen Mirren, who haven't messed with their natural looks, should be great role models to encourage others to stop the ruination of their lovely faces. 

Hollywood puts a lot of pressure on the actresses to look their best regardless of how they get there. However, time and again I see women who go under the knife and lose their natural beauty (e.g., Courtney Cox of Friends fame). 

The price of this pressure are plastic surgery horror stories. What's worse, the media globs on and spends more time debating Sarah Jessica's gray streaks than the acting or even the show. Our youth culture is just relentless and downright mean. It's rare to see a headline saying how Mr. Big (Chris Noth) has gray hair and some flab in the midsection. The men get mostly left alone. The women can't say the same thing.

And the pressure is very real -- I feel it all of the time in real life. A woman slightly younger than me took a potshot and called me "Grandma." You know what I thought, "Name-call now but get a clue -- age comes to us all." Her comment certainly didn't have me rushing to the plastic surgeon's office to beg for a much-younger look. It made me feel sorry for her when she looks in the mirror one day and realizes she's not the spring chicken on the street anymore. 

If I'm feeling it in my little world, I can only imagine how these famous ladies feel about it. That said, my real message is "go with the flow." Society needs to get over this age complex. Younger is not better. In fact, I don't want my youth back. I feel I looked at my best in my 40s. Even now I feel good about myself. My "surgery" trick is good nutrition and healthy living, and those two things in and of themselves can do more to keep you looking fabulous than anything else the surgeon can inject, insert, stretch, or pull. 

An interesting note about men and younger women. I've dated a lot in the last 10 years since my divorce. None of the men I dated had any interest whatsoever in young women. I would ask these questions out of curiosity and the answers slowly debunked the fallacy of men and young women. Mature men don't want to date women their daughters' ages. You mostly see "arm candy" in men who have power and think a young thing makes THEM look younger! I've even had a lot of younger men try to date me to no success. Youth is lost on the youth! I love someone who knows Gilligan's Island is not some place in the Caribbean. 

So, next time the media strikes up the conversation about women and aging, let's add the "Me Too" concept of understanding. We ALL age, period. It's nonnegotiable. Let's accept it and leave the real discussion for issues that truly matter. 

Michelle Gamble is a publisher, author, and artist. She can be found with her two kitties working away on any given day. Please email info@3LPublishing.com.