My favorite funny moments from book two of California Girl Chronicles, Brea’s Big Break:
REAL BODY PARTS
“And you think you’re going to get somewhere with me like that?” I flatly asked.
Johnny looked up, quit eating, and looked me right in the eyes. “Fuck no!” he retorted. “You’re hot and nice. I like you. And I like that you have real body parts,” he chuckled as he looked down to take another bite.
I looked down at my body parts and nodded, “Yep! Real! No one would purposefully make their boobs this small,” I said with a laugh.
I CUT HER HAIR
As Johnny talked about the business and his encounters on various movie sets, I started to like him. He was candid and enthusiastic about acting and his craft. He mentioned his last girlfriend was a major film star, but he would not divulge whom. He did say he met her when he played a small role in her film. He said she was down-to-earth but had this strange obsession with her hair. She wanted to become famous for her hair like Jennifer Aniston. He thought it was a crazy goal, and he said her hair was okay but that it wasn’t likely going to create a national sensation.
“Why’d you break up?” I asked.
“I cut her hair off,” he said totally kidding and laughing with a gregarious outburst.
OBSERVATIONS ON AMERICAN’S ENTHUSIASM
“You know Americans are the only ones who get all excited and say they love shit,” he suddenly offered. “We’re like the most enthusiastic nation! Other people say, ‘Hey, I like it,’ but not us, man. We love everything!”
She glanced at me, “How was your trip?”
“Bizarre … and nice,” I sighed.
“How’s that?” she asked nonchalantly.
“Um, well, I don’t know how to describe it. Johnny asked me. Ryan, his roommate, had sex with me.”
Denise’s eyes grew big, and she sat up and shifted toward me, “What?”
“Don’t ask me,” I said with a sigh.
“Why did you screw the friend?” she asked.
“I was drunk,” I replied.
“Oh, got it,” she said, laughed and nodded.