Saturday, January 7, 2012

Funny Sneak Preview from We're All Dead and California Girl Chronicles

Readers on this blog seem to be enjoying funny clips from my two upcoming books We're All Dead and California Girl Chronicles: Brea and the City of Plastic, the second book in the series. Since it's Saturday and all work and no play makes a very boring girl, here are some clips to entertain you.

We're All Dead
“Fantastic!” I cried in my gleeful state before I realized I had not quite formed a plan. “Damn it!” I thought but did not dare speak aloud. A great warrior king cannot allow his subjects to realize he was no smart enough to form an actual plan of attack. I looked at my brother who was shuffling back and forth and had snatched a mouse he was now sucking like a rodent-pop. Oh wretched vampire and messy eater! I lost my temper. He had dribbled blood on his white blouse that had ruffled fringes, which looked straight out of the Victorian era. “No messy eating!” I roared like a lion.

California Girl Chronicles: Brea's Big Break

Johnny stood in the doorway and waited for me. He allowed me to exit first like a gentleman. We made the requisite small talk as we walked to a Chinese café called Hop Singh up the street from the office. We sat on the back patio to eat noodles and chat. Johnny told me he started acting when he was 22, and he mentioned with a smirk how he got his first manager. The smirk piqued my curiosity.

“What’s that about?” I asked and pointed at his grin.


“That!” I countered and motioned again toward his expression.

He leaned in and started to explain. “Well, she pretty much signed me for sex,” he admitted and chuckled with delight over it.

“What?” I frowned.

“Oh yeah, she was like a cougar broad, too,” he said, “and she got me some great spots. I just had to fuck her twice a week.”

I was taken aback and pulled away from him. “Really?” I asked with a frown.

He took a chopstick and shoved a noodle in his mouth as he said, “Really! But you know it’s fucking Hollywood man. That shit happens all the time. Swing a dick, and there you go.”

“No, I thought, you know, unions,” I whispered.

Johnny waved off the suggestion. “Fuck that man. Broads are as bad as guys. Look at me now, though.”

I looked at him all right and frowned. “You don’t feel … dirty?”

Johnny waved off the suggestion, “Hell no! It’s the biz and, fuck yeah, I’ve had fun, too!”

I leaned over and shoved another noodle in mouth, pondering his amoral take on the whole thing. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered by it. In fact, I got the impression he accepted and liked it.

“And you think you’re going to get somewhere with me like that?” I flatly asked.
Johnny quit eating and looked me right in the eyes. “Fuck no!” he retorted. “You’re hot and nice. I like you. And I like that you have real body parts.” He chuckled as he looked down to take another bite.

I looked down at my body parts and nodded. “Yep! Real! No woman would purposefully make her boobs this small,” I said with a laugh.

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