First Word

You know those moments when you completely scratch your head and just don't get it. Life is loaded with absurdities. Rather than get angry (although I still do get irritated at some of it), I thought I would share the most absurd business relationship I ever got into and JUST extricated my company out of it. Our now former distributor Atlas/Bookmasters (thank goodness we're done with them) did all kinds of things that one could call absurd, ridiculous and incompetent. Let me start with the list for your enjoyment. Perils of Printing -- We initially worked with them on a print job. It went awry immediately. When we tried to remedy all of the mistakes and over-charges and hidden fees, the president (not the staff) told us we were incompetent. First, you never tell a client they are incompetent (horrible customer service) ... oh wait what's my second point again? Oh yeah, you NEVER tell a client they're incompetent. AND they had the nerve to try and win our business on ...

You are super time consuming, and I can't think of anything meaningful to say to you on this fine Saturday evening. Oh, blog you are my obsession yet we just can't talk today. I need to keep you loaded with content, but my brain is overloaded. I love you blog, and I want to keep my blog readers coming back for more, but I just am not in love with you. No, dear blog it's not you; it's me. I'm just not ready to be in blog relationship. Of course not blog. We'll still be friends. I promise to come back to you on Monday; but my other blog, Brea's blog , wants me to come over. So, I'm really sorry, blog you will have to sit ... empty, alone, blank, bereft, lonely and wordless.

Wow! Here is a really cool goal. Get Google Alerts every day on my new book series California Girl Chronicles . Can you imagine the publicity built up when Google Alerts go out every day with your book title or name? You know you've reached a ground swell of interest when you get alerts every day of the week. I like this idea a lot. If you're reading this and don't know what is a Google Alert then please let me share. If you use Google you have alerts. You can set your alerts to a keyword like your name or title, and the little "spiders" on the Web crawl out and gather information associated with your name or title. It's super easy to use and free. As a publicist, I put client's keywords so I can track what is going on with their books and results we're getting. You don't have to be a publicist, though, to do alerts. Famous people and products have a deluge of alerts each day! I will know California Girl is a best-seller when she gets alerts every ...

Whenever I hear other writers (who still have day jobs) complain they don't have enough time to write their novel or non-fiction book, I will eagerly try to explain how they can get it done. Most of the time, though, if they already have mental barriers to what I'm saying, they don't listen. Instead, they'll give me a worthwhile list of all the reasons why they don't have time. So, I'm going to debunk your excuses here really fast. First, you should never attempt to give me your litany of reasons why you can't get something done -- ever! Why? Wait till you hear what I manage to get done and how. So to make your jaws collectively drop, here is what I'm working on: three books (each are in the writing stage too, which is the one that I'm most actively involved in), one children's book that is almost ready for production, blogs (two for me and one for my client), newsletters (one for me that is weekly and two for clients), another book that is almos...

I get invited to so many events, I could spend my entire day at one event or the other. Social media floods invitations into my in-box daily. The funniest event I just got invited to was a "Plumber" party. Yes, did you read that right? A plumber is throwing a "plumbing" party. When my plumbing has risen to the status that it now qualifies for a party I just have to scratch my head and ask, "Really?" Why do I need to celebrate my plumbing? I guess I am just not giving enough reverence or revelry apparently to the kitchen or bathroom sink. I know I have to sit on the "throne," but really that's not a party either. What's next, a carpet party? Hey, how about a linoleum party? You know we can all get out on the dance "floor-ing". I mean really people, my plumbing, foundation or roof do not need a party. I'm just saying.

Social media is a lot of work. I Tweeted that yesterday, but it is. I finally broke down and began to focus on my much-neglected Twitter account that had like two followers. I gradually over the last few days began to build up followers, and I imagine I will be working on that for the next few weeks. It wouldn't be so time consuming if I weren't also involved keeping my fan page going, sharing on Facebook, and occasionally accepting a new colleague on Linked-In. Lest we also forget that I'm blogging here and now I have Brea's blog going on Tumblr.com. It's madness I tell you. Yes, these accounts are linked (the first thing people say all of the time); but you can't simply link accounts and voile! Your time has been magically saved. Neglecting to follow people on Twitter only resulted in one thing -- no followers for me. Blogging is another task that you can't ignore. Heck! I blog every day and I'm still pining away over my lack of followers here (hint, h...

We interviewed a guy on our First Word radio show yesterday who discussed his various books, one of them was called Monogamy Sucks ! which I thought the title was pretty funny. (P.S., that doesn't mean I agree with it I just found it entertaining). Turns out the book is about swinging. He started talking about erotica, and I suddenly realized that maybe California Girl Chronicles isn't quite as (a-hem) as "erotic" as I thought. I think I actually construed sexy with erotica, because the more he talked the more I realized I was completely tame in my book. It wasn't anything he said in particular, it was just the "liberal-glazed" tone of the discussion. In fact, I'm willing to bet my book is luke warm compared to the blazing hotness that his books may or may not be. Now my self-image has gone from, "Oh, look at me all open and sexy," to "Oh, how boring am I?" Actually not true. I was told by one reader, "Brea is better than V...

Have you ever heard that phrase? Over the years, I've seen that phrase used to help people define success. I agree with it. I do think we all become what we spend the most time thinking about. Consider what that means for a second, and I think you will find it to be true. The real question, though, is what do you think most about? Be honest not with me but with yourself. Are you thinking positive, productive thoughts? Or are you deeply insecure, nervous and anxious about what you're doing? I always try to vigilantly watch what I'm dwelling on. I know it affects so much about what I'm working on. Right now in the early infancy of the launch of my book California Girl Chronicles , I am focused on creating the buzz around the book and making it a best seller. It hit me, though, that my private thoughts were more like: If it sells okay, I'll keep doing the series." I had to give myself a wake-up call on my own very low expectations about the book. Talk about not a...

Hey, for those of you hanging in the spotlight, I have some advice. Maybe you ought not to run around the media revealing every detail of your private life or ... here's one ... your private feelings. When you're promoting a product, book or movie or whatever, you may be asked to reveal your personal feelings on either the subject at hand (or if you're a celebrity just in general). I know I'm the biggest party pooper in the world, but truly just because you think it doesn't mean you need to say it. I am astonished over some famous people who have total loose lips about their personal lives. Why does this matter? For one thing when you talk more about your personal life than what you're supposed to be promoting, the story becomes your personality and life not the product (again book, movie, etc.). The media is more interested in those personal and sometimes scintillating details than they are to help you move the product forward. Now if the book is about your pri...

“You came in with Drew?” she asked or said, whichever, because it sounded more like a statement to me since it was obvious who I had walked in the door with. “Um, yes,” I said as I turned toward her. “Yeah, I screwed him last time his band played on the Strip,” she said matter of fact like she was admitting she had just eaten a Big Mac, which unhinged me a little. “You want some X?” she asked as she extended the baggy with pills out toward me. “It will make your sex with him way better!” I wanted to be sarcastic, but it wasn’t her fault he was a male ho-bag and she was a drug-using slut — or maybe it was her fault, that is, the drugs and slut part. “No thanks,” I replied. “OK, but you know Drew likes drugs, right?” she said as if she and Drew were best buddies. I really didn’t know what to make of this whole scene. Did she really know Drew? Or was this some kind of strange contest where the girl who takes the best drugs sleeps with the guy? California Girl Chronicles is now on s...

All right so my new book California Girl Chronicles shows the other more feminine side of the sexual antics, I thought I would comment on an article I just read about celebrities and their "bed" count (and in some cases it might almost be as high as the sheet's thread count). One celeb was quoted as having had bedded some 20,000 women in his sexual career. Oh man! And oh my ! How does one accomplish such a feat is the question of the day. I would imagine there are only so many days in the year. I'm thinking you're getting laid at least once, twice or thrice daily at least . I have a few important and critical questions about these bragging rights. One, how do you find the time? Two, how do you find all of the bed partners? Three, how do you have the energy? And four, isn't that maybe a little boring after a while? Just asking.

So many writers I know are so nervous, timid or fearful about their work. They don't feel the confidence to "just put it out there," as one writer said to me in the email. If you write and keep it private by choice that is fine. But if you write and feel too insecure, worried or nervous to show the world, what's the point? I do want to emphasize, if you write for fun and don't show people it really is fine. It's only when you have a desire to publish -- and you let your own concerns hold you back that it's time to just sit down, decide to write that first book, and get on with it. When you're done, if you truly are worried it's not good enough to "put out there" then have someone like a writing coach look it over and provide feedback. 3L Publishing provides coaching services (FYI) where writers get one-on-one attention, support, accountability and guidance to create their best work. What amazes me is that "talent" sometimes isn...

Fall comes to the Sierras. Last night I went to the Reno chapter of eWomen to network and spent some time with some of my favorite gal pals. Kymberlee Symantel, executive director, gave an interesting presentation on first impressions. Did you know we have seven seconds to win people over with our first impression? Yes, seven whole seconds isn't much time. You would be surprised what can turn off people in so little time. Want to know some of the things on the list (and all of them do involve your senses): bad breath (so keep those little mints on hand), your appearance (women shoes ... scuffed shoes are out ... and wardrobe ... so get rid of those balled-up sweaters), overall appearance, too much perfume (strong smells), too loud or soft voices, personal space zone violations, and so much more. After you read that list, you may think it's any wonder we ever connect with anyone. What it really tells you is to go out and network or meet with clients and keep your very best a...

Outfit courtesy of White House Black Market Here is what I said at the California Girl Chronicles launch party: "You can't write a sexy book and then turn around and show up at your party and look like a frump." No, you can't wear a housecoat sorry friends. No curlers either. Oh, and forget the cigarette hanging out your mouth. Although in this day and age no cigarettes ever ... frump or not. No Wild Turkey in one hand either and a Tequila shot in the other. (Ugh can you imagine drinking those together?) Instead, you keep the image to match the book, and off you go to the likes of White House Black Market in the Roseville Fountains where Lynn Pearce's gang dressed me from head to toe. I wanted to be sexy but not slutty (wrong message too). It has to be believable that as the original "California Girl" from whom all the imagination and story comes from that you can honestly buy the idea that I know what I'm talking about. Your image is a part of...

I read this comment yesterday that if you're on Twitter, people can follow you -- and when I say follow what I really mean is stalk! This social media expert was discussing how she would know exactly where someone was if he or she just Tweeted every day. I didn't realize you could figure out the person's location just by where they Tweeted. Is this true? And how? It elevates social media to a whole new level of stalker-azzi. I also was reading about paparazzi, and how now A-list stars' everyday activities can be captured nearly live, from getting up to eat breakfast in some random cafe to where they hang out and what they do all day. It didn't exactly make me feel all warm and fuzzy toward the idea of fame in the modern world. How seriously unsettling would it be that you could literally be stalked all day long? Doesn't sound the least bit enticing to me. I don't see this improving anytime soon, and it begs the question of privacy. I suppose you might not wa...

I'm definitely going to post the party pictures when they come in from the photographer who snapped away all night. The California Girl Chronicles book launch was a success. I thought for the sake of giving out tips, I'll share with you how I drew a crowd so if you have any kind of product or book launch, you can get the room buzzing. 1. Leverage social media -- I built an Event page and then took the time to invite my 1600 "friends" to the party. You should open your social media page to the public if you intend to build a real following. I don't use social media for my personal posts. I use it strictly to network. Because I use it for business, most people on there are networking with me. 2. Meetup.com -- I run a writer's group titled Writers Who Mean Business. I have about 340 members of the group. I made sure I posted the notice on the group page as well. 3. eVite -- My personal friends were invited using eVite. Notice I am not using any paper in ...

   Okay folks, here is the original quote from Out magazine's October issue which interviews my favorite actor Alexander  Skarsgård :     Skarsgård:   When you're bored, just have sex.   And here is how that got interpreted in other media outlets specifically the headline for The Superficial.com: When I'm bored I have sex.     First, if you read the whole article, it's obvious the comment is made in jest. Second, it takes on a whole new meaning when you say it the way the other media said it. Let me just opine that unfortunately, the misquoted version sounds more salacious, which is why they're saying it that way -- and now he will never live that one down. The point isn't so much about the sexy comment, the point is the responsibility of the media to at least get it right and in context. Maybe he does or doesn't have sex when he's bored, and so what anyway? Sounds like a great way to pass the time to me. It's just th...

I am coaching a book right now. The author showed great promise in her manuscript, but she was making two critical mistakes: 1. Rushing the story 2. Missing the specific details I'm going to save story development for another blog. I want to talk about details versus minutia. New writers tend to write in general descriptions or they get too bogged down in minutia. Rich details are the difference between saying your character put on a green sweater vs. a green INC. cable-knit cardigan with the sweet yarn button on the front. The difference between tennis shoes and white Keds or maybe white-and-black nylon Nikes. Who would wear a pair of Keds? The type of shoe chosen says something about the character. She is preppy. Maybe she even wears cute, cuffed white socks with her Keds. What does that suggest: preppy and proper. What I commonly see are writers who simply say tennis shoes. If the description gives the reader valuable information about the character or story, do it. If th...

As a writer, I always watch movies from that perspective. I watched the new movie  Melancholia last night, which is the newly released film by Lars von Trier, the outspoken writer and director. The beginning of the film was a beautiful surreal exploration of the character and situation in images. Strangely enough it reminded me of the beginning of A Space Odyssey  by Stanley Kubrick what with the music and processional of images. I felt like I had walked into a surrealist museum. I haven't thought of surrealism in years, but I used to have a Salvadore Dali poster hanging in my cubbie when I worked in corporate. It was my small rebellious artistic statement about how much I hated being in "drone" world, which thankfully I am no longer. The movie is an usual story about the end of the world told in parts. Part I: Justine is about her descent into depression on her wedding day. I was intrigued. The darker she got, the more unlikeable she became as a heroine in the story, wh...

So, now that I've written this erotic romance, California Girl Chronicles , and it's slowly weaving out to its audience, I've become reflective about it ... after the fact. Hmm ... maybe I should have been more pensive about before the fact . I am actually a little nervous about the critics. I've been very careful to position the book in the press as pure "candy". Why am I nervous? Well, if you review this book from a serious literary perspective I'm afraid you're in for a big letdown. If you read the book from an expectation that you'll have a good time then it's all A-okay. I wrote California Girl Chronicles as pure escapist fun. I also decided to be erotic with the sex without going into porno. The decision was a business choice. We are a funny culture. We're still repressed about sexuality in many ways, but at the same time, we just love our "sex and candy"; we just don't like to admit it. I've decided that like using...

Most authors are surprised to find out the hardest part of the publishing process is not writing the book. Want to know the hardest part? It's the final proofing. Getting a book completely cleaned up and error-free is no small job. In my opinion, it is absolutely the hardest part of the job. What people generally don't understand is that there are several editorial roles on most publications. Authors generally have no idea the differences in those roles -- and the proofer has the hardest job of all. To help you understand the editing process, here are the roles you commonly see (and if you look on magazine mastheads you'll see these roles broken down): Editor in Chief -- this person decides the broad content and takes a more global role on the publication. He or she manages the scope and reach of the publication. When you see the specific stories in the publication, the editor in chief probably didn't decide on the specific stories as much as he/she approved and watc...

Everything always works out in both life and business. You have to learn to just go with it and know that if you're meant to be doing something (you're following your passion), you will continue to prosper. I am supposed to be on this path, I know this without a doubt. How? From the very first day I decided corporate wasn't for me, I have easily attracted business. It has never been all that difficult. I'm not saying I haven't had my ups and downs, but nothing has ever challenged me to where I couldn't resolve it and put it away. Every time, I start to get nervous these days, I put away the feelings and keep moving forward. I think that is the trick: don't dwell and keep moving and forging ahead . I was out in 3L's storage area, which resembles a warehouse in Barnes and Noble, and my friend said, "How could you ever feel like you're not success? Look around! In many ways, you have done more than most people you know." I looked at my wareho...

Maybe it's the way I think, but I don't ask permission if I want to do something. I don't run around and ask people what they think of what I'm going to do. I don't ask anyone anything, I just do it. Every book I've written, I didn't ask anyone what they thought about whether or not I should do it. I didn't survey. I didn't query. I just wrote. In all fairness, I do review the market and study what's selling. I do this on my own. When I decided to write California Girl Chronicles , it was a market-driven decision that kind of went backwards, which is unusual for me. We were watching a show on CNN and a ticker said the eBook market was rapidly growing -- and of that rapidly growing market opportunity, 56 percent of those sales were going to the romance market. And thus, a California Girl was born. I had tinkered with thoughts of doing a novel, but I didn't specifically know where I was going to take it. And the wonderful title of the series, l...

"There is no reason not to follow your heart. Stay hungry. Stay foolish." ~ Steve Jobs I love that quote, and it mirrors a conversation we had on First Word Radio yesterday about doing what you want to do with your life. I don't believe in asking permission. If I want to do something, I figure out how to do it. I've spent a lifetime actively pursuing my passions. 3L Publishing exists because I didn't want to turn my first book over to a publisher that I didn't feel could do a better job than I could. After that book Second Bloom came out and won awards including an honorable mention from Writer's Digest , other authors started asking me to publish their books. The question wasn't "no," it was: Why not? Almost overnight I had achieved a dream without even making it a goal in the first place. I was simply following my passion. When you follow your passion the rest will follow. Now I've gone after another goal: to write a novel and here ...

I've decided my new job is be the commentator on this whole social media revolution and how it has changed our culture. We'll start with the most entertaining influences: Vernacular -- have you notice that we have a whole new set of expressions? We are no longer just friends with people. No, now the noun is a verb. We "friend" people. Back in high school English had I turned in a paper about friendship where I "friended" everyone in the story, I would have it turned back to me with a lot of red marker on it. Don't forget that you can also "de-friend" or "un-friend". We don't befriend anyone these days. Maybe we could use that one? I need to you to "be-friend" me ... hmm ... still a verb, huh. Then we have Twitter where we have turned into a flock of "Tweeters". I thought Tweety was a yellow bird that Sylvester chased for dinner. I really didn't know humans could Tweet. I thought we talked. Wow! I guess I...

I am writing this in reaction to a fellow writer who changed her kid's names for her public writing. I want to praise her! I thought I was the only one who protected her children from the glare of the spotlight. It is a rule in my house that I do not discuss my family or children in public. While I do drop a few cute tidbits here and there, I firmly believe that the littlest members of my household have a right to privacy. First, we all know there are predators out there. My daughter, in particular, is very, very charismatic and beautiful. I don't want her photographed and out on display for unscrupulous people to see. Second, my children did not actively ask me to talk about them in public. It's one thing if I used social media for private use, but I use it professionally, which means I have connections to over 1,600 people most of whom I don't know. I also treat my children much the same in my newsletters and blog. I have no desire to exploit them or say something tha...

I remember this perfectly. I was 21 years old at San Jose State University, and I was taking a public relations class as part of my degree program. In the class, which I don't remember the name of it, we had to create our own brochures. The instructor told us we had to design the brochures on boards, which seems insane to me today. He demonstrated how we could create headlines on this new beige box called the Mac. Of course, I had seen computers, but the Mac was new and looked different. It was this small box with a tiny screen. You could use a piece of software called PageMaker to create limited graphics using fonts. I was impressed and intimidated all at once. About three years later, I worked for a publishing company and what did I have sitting on my new desk? A little Mac SE. For the next four years, I abused my Mac SE writing hundreds of articles for the now defunct California Computer News . The Mac SE, unfortunately got replaced with a PC (groan), and I had been marched to ...

#1 Pandora – All music is piped in through Pandora. I work listening to music in the background all day. I have my favorite channels. My New Age channel is all instrumental music for when I’m writing (words colliding with words doesn’t work for my word-addled brain). No Internet means I must resort to (egads) CDs or my iPod. (Notice my priorities here <grin>. #2 Email – I monitor email in the background behind my working screen. It’s how I stay proactive and responsive. My responsiveness has helped make 3L Publishing’s reputation. Now I have to use my iPhone, but I completely hate typing long missives on that tiny pad. #3 Web – How do I do all my research for all of the books? On the Web, of course, who goes to libraries anymore? Who has time? I can sit right at my desk and do all the research I want. #4 Social Media – I try to post to the social media at least once and sometimes twice a day. No Internet and I go back to that tiny iPhone type pad again. Didn’t I just compl...

Today's curiosity: Why do almost 90 percent of all women's magazine feature nothing but beauty products?  Is that all women care about? According to publisher's row in NYC, it sure looks that way. Here is what I've learned as I've gamely pitched PR campaigns to women's interests magazines. Did you know that beauty products are wearable? Yes, there is a category called "Wearable Beauty Products." I see that "specialty" listed under the responsibilities of many women's book editors. I am assuming when we say wearable, we're talking about jewelry? But how is jewelry a beauty product? It looks good on? For some reason when I visualize wearable beauty products, I flash to a backpack loaded with cosmetics. Oh speaking of cosmetics, that my girlfriends is yet another popular category. We women seem to have a popular interest in cosmetics, as many editors write about nothing but make-up. It did flash through my mind today also that you just d...

A good friend of mine suggested a fantastic way to take out my frustrations with certain people. She said I should just make them characters in my books. This suggestion made me laugh. I have this one fly that I can't seem to shoo away that has been using references to 3L as keywords. I noticed because I monitor Google pretty carefully to manage our image. Well, the pest has decided it's perfectly OK to stay "hitched to my wagon" by using our name in keywords for some online material. Those of you who know me, know exactly who I am talking about. We'll call this one Kitty Klingon. Here is a message to Kitty: focus on your own company. There how easy was that. No need to use 3L in reference to anything. The last thing I saw was some online business card in which Kitty used 3L as a keyword for searching. Here is another message Kitty: notice how 3L has zero affiliation with you. Hmm ... we could do the same thing and throw that keyword in yet (big shock), we're ...

My post about the hateful behavior that comes out when people feel the "power" of being anonymous online sparked a response from several readers. Many of my readers applauded my post questioning the belligerent, nasty and hateful comment threads I commonly read online. I got asked if I get haters bothering 3L Publishing . The answer to that question is that I do receive the rare, unsolicited comments. I don't take any of it personally, though. People who dare to write spite and hate are not typically my friends or allies (obviously). Most of my true associates in my network wouldn't dare to say some of the nasty things I've read spewed out there. We did have this so-called "watchdog" group go at 3L pretty aggressively. I am sharing this because frankly I found it sort of funny. To be clear, the woman who runs the group has never worked with us. She never spoke to us. And she doesn't know a single client. She spoke out of turn and incited a flame war ...

What is it about digital communication that just brings out the worst in people? I promise you back in the old days when people wrote letters to each other, they did not go out of their way to write a spiteful, nasty missive about what a "bitch" someone is or is not or how "lame" or "stupid" and any other negative, nasty pejorative they can come up with. This popped into my mind, because I was reading some chat areas and noticed an abundance of hateful messages. What is about the computer and Internet that just puts a whole new spin on the word "spew"? The freedom to show your hatefulness just because you've never met the other person is so stunning to me. We use the computer to communicate and lose our good manners. Some of the nasty comments aren't even necessary or relevant. It's like somebody taking out their every negative thought and vomiting it at the invisible audience on the other side. I just don't get it. I also recentl...

Here are some the most common mistakes I see companies makes when marketing or promoting their businesses. In fact, some of these mistakes are so common it's completely shocking that these companies continue to repeat the same blunders. Or maybe the companies that do make these mistakes come and go -- and someone else picks up the baton to continue to the next marker. So, without further adieu, here are some of those blunders that hopefully your company will not perpetuate. Non-targetted, non-specific event invitations to everything from the steak cook-off to the community weight-loss event . I am invited to hundreds (no exaggeration) of events per day, especially on Facebook. What I've noticed is a complete lack of consideration or discretion as to who these groups invite. Business people literally blast invitations to community weight-loss events to someone like me who is not in the least in need of such an event. They invite vegetarians to BBQs. No research or thought goes...