Saturday, June 30, 2012

Advice for the Newly Divorced from the About-to-be Divorced

It's Saturday ... it's almost July ... my blog stats dropped. Why? Because July is vacation month -- the heaviest traveled month outside of the holiday season. I'm blogging on a Saturday night. What a life, right? Ah, it's not that bad. I went out earlier today to meet one of our authors. Now my daughter is yelling over the balcony rail at other children. I won't let her go out into my apartment complex to play. I'm so mean yet very protective. It's not like when I lived in a house. You can't send an eight-year-old out to play without supervision, and I'm not just going to sit in the courtyard, so I guess I'm so mean LOL. I can smell BBQ, too. I miss BBQ. (I am stream of consciousness blogging here.)

And for the record, I could be dating if I wanted to. I don't want to. I have an important relationship in a holding pattern until I have completed the divorce process. In my personal, aged and "saged" opinion, it's not a good idea to relationship jump. I did that, and if you're reading this, I don't recommend it. My favorite aunt put it aptly and this is good advice for the about-to-be or newly divorced, "You can't bond and grieve at the same time." So right! Now I am fortunate, blessed or whatever you want to think in that my important relationship is also mature, aged and "saged" properly ... so holding pattern it will be. Dating unfamiliar and new men it will not be. I thought about that for about two seconds ... yep! No go. All you Facebook "dudes" you can stop messaging anytime now LOL. Two words: not interested.

I keep thinking about when this is over with writing yet another probably easily forgettable book about divorce LOL. I am thinking, though, it should be focused exclusively on resilience. Maybe stories of women who have sunk in the goo of the nasty process and managed to rinse it off without bitterness, negativity or regret. I don't regret anything. I have done some regretful things, but I am working through the detox and self-forgiveness and forgiveness process. I do have a book, I would like to recommend by author Tomi Tuel, 101 Things I Learned AFTER my Divorce. It was her book that made me realize one super, duper important thing or things ... one I have a great man in my life right now. Two, I don't want to be a sexual "pig" as she put it. All I want to do is get better, feel better and be better -- and it's all good. Tomi, who is a new 3L Publishing client, wrote an excellent book. Please get your copy on Amazon.

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