Monday, February 27, 2012

Fame Means Never Picking, Poking or Touching in Public

I am having fun looking at all of the pretty people photographed at the Oscar parties, and I notice a photo of a rather famous guy "tugging his boys" and getting caught on film, of course. Here is the deal: fame means you better not touch, poke or touch any private parts in public ever again, because you have a sure bet someone will catch the embarrassing touch in a never-ending image. In fact, if the "paps" follow you all over town, their cameras will document your requisite trips to the coffee shop, grocery store, gym or wherever you go. And here's the one sure thing: you are bound to get "caught" touching somewhere you ought not to touch in public. Then you have the rabid fans who will courteously and to your utter shame and horror, compile a Tumblr montage of every embarrassing touch, poke or prod you ever made in public. Now I see these pictures and I think, "Good lord there 'it' is for all the world to see for all eternity." Because whether your famous self likes it or not, the Internet will not only capture, but also preserve all those embarrassing moments to be passed around to all the other eager and voyeuristic fans for the next 100 years. And now you know why I tell my dear friend Sonja Fisher, who is striving for fame as an actress, why I will have to quit hanging out with her once she gets that famous. I don't want to be the woman in the caption that says: Sonja Fisher and her author friend who apparently needed to pick her nose. Yeah, that's it: I don't want to be the famous nose-picker even if all I did was itch it!!

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