Friday, February 1, 2013

More Funny Quotes from Vengeance is Now

One of the things I adore about the forthcoming 3L Publishing book Vengeance is Now by Scott D. Roberts is the humor. Scott and I are very good friends, and he makes me laugh all of the time. He has a brilliant sense of humor and an incredible wit, and it shines through in the work. Here are some of what I consider to be the funny and priceless moments from the book that officially releases into the bookstores in May 2013. It will be available for advanced pre-sales on the 3L Publishing website at

“And that tofu shit you eat,” said Ramon, “looks like cum Jell-O, bro.”
“No one asked you to eat it,” answered Steve after taking a crisp bite from his apple. “And you’ll change your mind when you go for angioplasty before you’re 35.”
“Fuck that shit, bro,” joked Ramon. “I’m a machine.”

“Shut up, Tate,” she said. “You worked homicide for
Chris ‘sakes.” 
“Twenty-year-old women don’t say ‘Chris ‘sakes’,”
teased Tate. “You sound like a grandma.”

“Nothing like being hustled out of a private Michael Buble’ concert,” complained Sheila. “He didn’t know it yet but he was my next husband.”
“You’re too good for him,” joked Steve.

She looked down at her high-end Jimmy Choo platform
pumps as they sloshed through the water. “Don’t know what’s worse,” commented Sheila, “a compromised crime scene or ruining my $500 shoes.” 
“Not all of us have trust funds,” joked Steve. “Besides,
Ramon’s got you covered.” 
“Five hundred and shit?” yelped Ramon. “That’s more
than my entire wardrobe, bro.”

“I guess Karma’s a bitch, huh?” she said. “Then ya’
marry one.” 
“All my wives were not complete bitches,” stated Tate.
“I had a hand in driving them to Bitchville.”

Bonnie was tied to the bed wearing the Catwoman suit that made 13-year-old boys tingle when they saw Halle Barry wear it on the big screen. Although, Halle’s naked breasts didn’t hang out of her costume and her tights weren’t crotch-less.
“Come save me Batman,” purred Bonnie. “And clean me with your tongue.”
“Holy big tits,” said Tate from the script. “I’m going to need my special tool to free you.”

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