Only the Lonely ... or the Desperate

It's humorous Saturday so nothing serious. In my newly single status, I have encountered so many different ways men try to meet or pick up on me. I find the biggest offenses seem to almost always involve social media or at the very least something electronic. Here are my top 5 picks that we'll sarcastically call: who are you kidding? Here it goes from the bad to the worst:

1. "Hi" -- who ever thought that monosyllabic "hi" was somehow a great conversation starter. Just so you know ... where exactly can I take "hi"? Seems to me not very far.
2. Texting a stranger with "how are you?" It should be more like, don't text a stranger at all. Don't ask me how I am when I have no clue in the world who the hell you are. And why I am responding to some random strange guy from area code 209 is beyond me.
3. Posting wine, roses, love cups or anything else completely random on my FB wall. Let me back up ... I don't even know you and you're posting stuff on my page. I don't think so.
4. Texting me after midnight -- never, ever, don't do it (I don't care if you're in China). Even if we are dating, don't do it. You will land in the no-go category. It's disrespectful, and believe me when I say, "I don't do booty calls -- EVER!"
5. Telling me I'm sexy and you want to do me -- and we've never met. UM NO!!! Or better yet, here is the whopper heard round the world, "You're gorgeous! Would you marry me?" Hmm ... let me give you a monosyllabic, "No!" 

And there you go my friend: My top 5 worst offenses in the dating world. And yes, all of those did indeed involve electronic devices LOL. Now go have a great day.