Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Define ... "Appropriate" on Social Media

I woke up this morning. Sun shining ... check! Birds chirping ... check. Time to "check" social media. What do I find on my Facebook Wall at this beautiful dawn hour? A weird, illiterate poem professing love from a "friend" connection. Love? Who is in love with me? Well, it's certainly not my fiancé Kirk Donnelly. It's some strange guy I agreed to "friend" who goes by some odd name. Now I am constantly ranting and raving about appropriate Facebook aka social media behavior. BUT given that many people also use online dating as a means to meet their mates, I thought I would extol the virtues of "acting appropriately". Now I am being rather facetious here, and kind'a making fun of a guy who writes me a love poem -- or more specifically a guy I've never met who writes me a love poem. Perhaps we ought to start with the definition of love. Ladies, we all know that romantic love is traditionally shared among two people who actually (and get this astonishing revelation) KNOW each other (I am LOLing all over the place). I know this must be an absolute stunning announcement and you are all now whispering amongst yourselves ... know, know, know? Yes, my fellow reader, romantic love is a shared feeling among the acquainted. So, if you are trying to woo a woman via social media or even Match.com, my best sage advice, don't pronounce anything even remotely related to the "L" word unless, of course, you have met and maybe (get this) dated! Dated? Yes, you know that old-fashioned term and thing you do when you're (another stunner) courting a woman. If you dane to use the "L" word and profess your undying feelings, I might even take it a step further to suggest you not do so on the first date. My fiancé called a woman who announced her love on the first date as a "Swim Fan" in honor of the movie about stalking and obsessive love. Ah, now we've come to the true crux of the matter. Those socially inept who dane to tell me they love me when they don't know me on social media ... well, guess what happens to them? Can we say "un-friended" ... yes! "Why is that?" you cheerfully ask out of curiosity. Because like my fiancé who called a woman a "Swim Fan," anyone who tells someone they love them -- and they've never even met AND writes her a poem no less ... um can we say "stalker"? And thus, click! Friendship gone ...  bye-bye. And there my beloved readers is an almost concise but very frank description of why professing love to strangers on social media is inappropriate!

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