Saturday, September 8, 2012

Texting is the New Intimacy ... Huh?

Now that I'm single again, I am amused by this whole texting relationship thing. A friend of mine mentioned that texting is the new form of intimacy. A quick glance at recent romance articles about how to know if a guy likes you revealed the "rules" of texting. Who should text first. When to text. How to text. More articles and time were devoted to the enigmatic question of texting and when, where and how than to actual romance and sex. Let me just say that if you spend more time texting than romping, hmmm ... seems to me physical intimacy is way more satisfying. Now I will say the plus point on texting: it allows you to send quick messages and lets the person know you are thinking of him or her. It's quick and effective, too. The other night though I was going back and forth with a man I'm dating, and it suddenly occurred to me, "Why are we doing this?" I let my fingers do the touching. I mentioned to him, "And why were we texting and not talking?" He laughed. Texting can just happen that way. You get so used to it that the idea of simply talking seems to evaporate. And truthfully isn't a verbal conversation much more rewarding? Now another upside to texting, it does give you time to process your thoughts, and you're much less likely to put your foot in your mouth; but the downside is that there is no tone or inflection for the person to also understand the emotion behind something said, too. I've also had this close-knit friendship with another man in my life where we text all of the time. Through non-stop texting and staying close, we've built practically the entire friendship -- and that seems really weird to me, too. I guess this is all about 21st century connections. And it's changed dramatically, and it's so odd that you can be close close to someone through words. Maybe this is the 21st century of the old-fashioned love letter. Now that idea I like much better.

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