Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Stupid Guy's Guide to Finding and Keeping A Woman

So Bo Bradley, 3L Publishing's operations manager, and I are working on the book 20 Reasons not to Date THAT Guy, which we want to publish for Valentine's Day 2014. In the meantime, my astute and non-romantically challenged boyfriend Kirk Donnelly, who initially gave me the idea for the first book, declared he wanted to write the male version to help those hapless guys out there. His version has the working title The Stupid Guy's Guide to Finding and Keeping a Woman. So, he sat down over the weekend while we were eating and began his tentative table of contents. He came up with 11 things (so far), and I thought it would be great to share it with you all. Here it goes (and for the record, Mr. Donnelly practices what he preaches, which is why he got me LOL).

  1. Keep your woman happy -- it's your job!
  2. Listen to her, don't judge or solve
  3. Do what you say you're going to do in a timely manner
  4. Be a man of your word -- respect is imperative
  5. Spend time with her -- date her; spend time even with her kids -- or someone else will ...
  6. Find out what makes her feel loved and do it
  7. Don't control or manage her -- be supportive and give her space and freedom
  8. Don't criticize her -- praise her
  9. Love her how she is ...
  10. Always give her, her "cookies" first then yours :) and we ALL know what our cookies are ;). 
There you go! The sage wisdom of my spectacular boyfriend and lover!! And for the record, Kirk began dating me when I had three other relationships in the wings ... and guess who won LOL! Why? Look carefully at that list -- there is your answer.


  1. My how the pendulum has swung! An article in Housekeeping Monthly's May 13th edition (1955) had an entirely different take on the relationship responsibilities of men and women. The article can be viewed here http://j-walk.com/other/goodwife/index.htm.

    I never agreed with the good wife guide because it always seemed so unfair and chauvinistic. It never dealt with what the husband was going to do for his good wife. It is repulsing to say the least.

    In the case above, I think that the responsibility to each other should be addressed and not just what a man must do to keep his pretty little girlfriend with kids from another man.

    Why does she have kids without a husband? Why is she looking for her soul-mate if she already had one? Sorry, but this type of behavior is a major problem. When I see women with children who complain of a failed marriage, I run for the hills because there is always two sides to every story.

    Addressing the 10 steps above:

    1. Nobody can make someone happy. It's up to each individual to find happiness within.
    2. We should listen to everyone and not judge anyone
    3. that goes without saying for both parties
    4. ditto
    5.see comment
    6. we can only feel loved if we give love
    7. that goes for both parties
    8. constructive criticism and open minds change the world.
    9.same for both
    10. Ladies always first!

    Perhaps you can change this a bit and call it the Smart guy's guide. The current title is self-explanatory.

    That is just my humble or, not so humble opinion.

  2. Ah, yes but you assume that we don't have the woman's viewpoint, too LOL. A few comments: in a perfect world there is no divorce or kids from a previous marriage. As a divorcee with children, I appreciate the willingness and the ability of a man to want to be a great step-parent to my children. It would be great if I was a first-time married woman to have met a man who did those things on the list; but it's not a perfect world. As for the happiness quotient, I kept myself happy in my marriage until I realized my former husband wasn't adding to my happiness but subtracting from it (not good). So, I think the list should be taken as a guide to help men think outside of the box. And that's just my .2 cents after having dated many a selfish guy who didn't give a lick whether or not I had feelings about any of the above.