Wednesday, December 5, 2012

How to Amuse Your Publisher

I have situations arise all of the time where I am just amused. Now I have to admit most authors who do these things are doing so in pure innocence and lack of knowledge, which of course, I am aware ... but none the less, it still entertains me. You always have to keep your sense of humor in this business. So, here are two things I find infinitely amusing.

The hand-drawn, homemade illustration. Many children's authors make this mistake. As a part of their pitch, they will whip out the homemade drawing their kids produced and say how cute it would be to use their kid's work in their professional children's book. All right, that's cute ... okay ... BUT it's a far cry from "professional" and while you may be astounded by your little Suzie's talents (and perhaps little Suzie is a master hand at the Crayolas), but you're not alone in your "cute" idea. In fact, it's a common idea among many new children's book writers who don't know any better. If you want to be taken seriously as a professional children's book writer better use true professional illustrations lest you lost credibility.

Read-my-whole book syndrome. Another common mistake is that some authors will expect I am going to read the entire book versus just a sample chapter. In fact, it's a near demand. All right so here is reality check 101: Do you know how much work I have to do during the day? Do you know how many submissions we receive? Do you know how long it takes to read your 250-page tome? I will NEVER read an entire book, especially if it's not very good. I have enough time to read a sample chapter. Let me also note, I can literally tell by page 5 if your book has potential anyway. I know you're shocked but it's true. Any professional reader can tell almost instantly if a book has any potential. So, if you get your panties all twisted up when you hear I won't be dedicating my free time to reading your WHOLE book, please untwist those knickers. No publisher will read your WHOLE book and please realize the request is unreasonable.

NOW if you want us to read a sample chapter and you're ready to work with my company 3L Publishing (, we are running an INCREDIBLE holiday special. Please send your sample chapter and book summary to or call 916-300-8012.

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