Monday, November 12, 2012

Relationship Envy

Since I've been single, I've been given plenty of advice about relationships and how to find, attract and keep a man. I receive this newsletter from a guy named Christian Carter who gives what I think is pretty good relationship advice. He's talks about attraction, relationship management, how to keep the fire burning, how to keep your man attracted, how to get him to commit, how to attract him back if his interest wanes, and on it goes. Now I've been single, married and single -- and now I'm in a serious relationship again and we're getting engaged in the near future.

I spent this last year dating and meeting men all sorts of ways. Well, after reading Carter's often interesting and sage advice and reading classics such as Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and the Five Languages of Love I realized one critical ingredient to not only attracting but keeping a man. It's not magical. It's not really a secret. Are you ready for it? (And I've found it was true both times I met the right man.) When it's right, it's right. There are you stunned, shocked, and feel the revelation? Yes, let me repeat it: when it's right, it's right.

Guess what else ... and this might shock you, too. It's not hard to get a man to commit or marry you when it's right! I used to think when I was younger it would be difficult based on difficult dating situations that it would be really hard to get a guy to ask me to marry him. Not hard! When you meet the right person or the "one" as so many people like to call it, it should be easy. The romance and courtship are the easy part of the relationship. It's the fun part where you get to enjoy the excitement of the first date, the first kiss -- it's all new and exciting. So if you're having trouble or you have to do a couple's retreat or see a counselor in the first year of the romance? Let me just suggest, something is amiss and it's worth examining whether this is a good situation for you. Let me repeat this statement for the last time, when it's right it's right ... AND when it's right it should be easy, and most importantly -- FUN.

And those are my 46-year-old words of wisdom. Hope it helps. Because if you're not on the "same page" as your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you're struggling to even make a commitment, ask yourself, "Is this right?"

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