It's My Birthday and Help for the Hapless Guys

All right some I'm now one year older. I don't want to write a serious blog today so I thought once more I would regale you (meaning the single guys) with ideas and assistance to help your online dating styles. As a "semi-single" gal (I'm dating just not sure who will win the crown of "boyfriend"), I do have an online profile. I do get dozens of emails a day. Yet of those dozens of emails, I have to date only answered one. "Why is that?" you ask with interest. Because of the following approaches that fall completely flat (and don't try this at home).

1. I've shared this so many times but it obviously doesn't work so here we go again ... just saying the single word "Hi". It doesn't work. Don't bother if that's the only syllable you know how to utter. How can you even start a conversation from "Hi"? You can't do much with it. Hi back? I don't think so. If your only original conversation starter is hi then two things are clear: you're not a talker and you're not interesting. Those combined things = no response.

2. Expressing your overly enthusiastic feelings about my looks! Thank you and is that all you have to say? Again, I can't take the ball and run with "you're so sexy" or "you're so beautiful." Other than thank you that is all I can say about that comment. Agreeing with you and going off about my looks spells out a big negative: you're so vain I bet you think this blog is about you ... see what I mean ;). If you want to say I'm attractive that is fine, but you better back it up with some other sentiment that is less (how shall we say) shallow.

3. Expressing how you would like to seduce and have sex with me. Yes, my dear man-friends way too intimate for someone I don't know and have never met. What? Am I supposed to agree with you and then go meet you in some seedy motel? Really? Sexual attraction to a picture? Really? In what world can sexual chemistry be established from a picture? Yes, men are visual but this takes it too far, and it's a major turnoff!

4. Being so weird I think you belong in the looney bin. Some messages are so out there I would never accept a date for fear you need some meds. Guys just try and stick to normalcy. No weird poems or crazy marriage proposals to someone you don't know -- bad ideas. Crazy off-the-wall rants not a good idea either. Sometimes "vanilla" works just fine.


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