Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Why Marriage is Sacred

I posted this about weddings on Facebook: That's it ... SACRED. I kept trying to explain why I felt a real effort be put into having a beautiful and thoughtful wedding ceremony, and not something to be done lightly, quickly or on-the-fly. It's SACRED! That was the word , and it's a rite of passage that symbolizes your deep love and commitment. To not go through the rite of passage thoughtfully, genuinely and with great reverence for what you're doing makes it easier to throw it away and disrespect the union.

The rising divorce rate and the idea that marriage is disposable has diminished the value and respect for the union. I've watched people literally get married and within months conveniently toss the relationship in the nearest "trash can". You could say marriage has become disposable and "recyclable" -- fail and try again. This accepted mentality has resulted in quickie marriages that don't  withstand the test of time, and a complete erosion of the institution altogether. Couples go straight to co-habitation and forget the marriage. They now have babies out of wedlock (hence the term "baby mama" or "baby daddy") and no spiritual or legal union ever takes place. Then when trouble arises (and it does because life is life) the quickest solution -- leave each other ... no legal untangling involved. 

A friend of mine and I were talking about the concept of the "starter marriage" (which came from the Baby Boomer generation). It became acceptable that you could have a "starter marriage" much like a kit. Here's how to "start" your weddings (yes, plural) and hope the last one is the "expert marriage" that lasts. Of course, I had a near 21-year marriage so one might suggested I had the "long version" of the starter marriage. I said the other day to my future in-laws that I've reformed my opinion and think no one should get married until their 30's. Does anyone really know who they are and what they want in their 20's? And the reality is you don't even REALIZE the difference until you're in your 40's LOL ... so I guess my advice will naturally go unheeded by most who don't know any better ... yet. 

Why am I talking about this subject. Well, after witnessing a few impromptu and quickie marriages done for all the wrong reasons and ended just as quickly ... and watching family members do the same thing, I began to ponder the subject. I had been so adamant that we respect our upcoming nuptials regardless of whether or not our budget could afford a major celebration (it's still going to be a beautiful celebration regardless of expense). 

I started to wonder why a beautiful, connected and thoughtful wedding ceremony felt so important to me -- that I didn't want to go to some lone beach with just a witness. And that's when the word "sacred" bounced into my head -- and hence the opening to this blog. Getting one of the most important relationships of your life off to a start with no respect for the rite passage produces all of those things I just described ... starter marriages, throw-away marriages, disrespectful relationships. Taking one day out of your life to respect your relationship (in my opinion) can only help not hurt it. Taking the time to reflect on your love, relationship, and why you're there on that day -- all good! 

And that my friends is my rant in support of marriage and wedding ceremonies. Now back to publishing and marketing and public relations. Ta-ta for now! :)

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