First Word

My next novel titled Body in the Trunk comes out in spring time, and it's a paranormal romance. I never even heard of the genre until a few years ago. Turns out it's a popular genre especially among women readers. Just to whet your appetite and get you ready for my book, here is the story: Other Worldly Love Wicked Games Murder ... A young crime writer named Tess becomes interested in the mystery behind a body found in the trunk of a Toyota Camry. In pursuing her desire to write her first true crime book, she connects with Detective Phil Harris, whom she develops a crush on, to solve the mystery. As they work together, another love story unfolds and the reader discovers a secret relationship and paranormal affair that results in  unspeakable tragedy. Evan, the philandering conman, meets his match when he can't resist the intense love and connection he feels for his target, Mia, a businesswoman, wife and mother whose unhappy life leaves her vulnerable to his seducti...

Have you ever thought about trust? Not just trust in another person, but also trust in yourself. Trusting that a situation will work out the way it is supposed to work. Do you realize that is about releasing the concept of "control" and realizing you are powerless over anything or anyone other than yourself. Trust means going with your gut and knowing that your gut (AKA your heart) will serve you. Your heart/gut has the answers and the "knowingness," and you have to let go and know it will be all right. I am clairvoyant and spiritual. So I have an even larger idea of what my life could look like -- it's one of my gifts. I have a relationship in my life in which I foresaw the future -- and at the time I didn't understand a few things about that vision. I didn't understand how it could be possible. Throughout that journey it continued to seem utterly impossible, too. And then there was an unexpected shift. And the impossible became quite possible, indee...

A friend of mine has been dealing with some social media stalker nonsense, which has provoked some recent thought on the issue. First, for would-be stalkers I want like to share: it's not a good idea to mess with someone's social media page(s). Many people use social media to build their reputations and attract business and network. I certainly use social media in this respect, as a business tool. My friend also uses it for those reasons, too. So when someone starts hacking and messing with what is a business tool, he or she impedes the flow of business. Changing someone's likes to something that would ruin their reputations could also be construed as defamation of character, especially if the nonsense is harmful. I had a hacker once change my likes to make it appear as though I was a Nazi, Racist, lesbian man-hater. The hacker also "un-friended" clients, which definitely hurts business. The allegation could easily have been leveled that she had defamed my chara...

Storytelling (film, TV and books) always have the ability to pull out emotions. But there are some great moments in stories that make me cry every, single time even when I know it's coming (because I've seen the film so many times). What constitutes a great tear-jerker? I couldn't say what it is specifically. Maybe it's the build up. Maybe it's the words. Maybe it's the acting. Maybe it's all those things combined ... but here are my top tear-jerker moments. Terms of Endearment --when Aurora goes absolutely nuts and demands the painkillers for her daughter. Her utter desperation and pain is so conveyed. I know this scene is coming and here we go: tears! Gets me every single time without fail. The Color Purple --when after so much longing, pain and loss, Nettie FINALLY gets her kids back. The moment when they show up off in the hazy, farm field distance ... yep! Here come the tears. Then she stands in the field in the end scene and they play the little gi...

I don't mind sharing personal experience as long as I think it will help someone else. Gratuitous sharing though isn't on my agenda. If you're going to get personal, a point to it makes it valuable. I have recently realized that I don't have very good self-esteem. I don't hold up very high standards of how I expect to be treated. Time and time again I have found myself in situations where I'm either being taken advantage of because of my generous, good nature or just completely overlooked. We teach other people how to treat us. I never learned to set limits (and I won't get into the reasons why). I have reflected on a few key things in my life, and I'm here to share that anyone (including an accomplished person who has much to feel proud about) can fall into the pit of feeling unworthy. When you fall into that trap you begin to accept the unacceptable. You begin to think, this is all "I" get and all I deserve. Well, I have been slowly making ...

I think most things in life require persistence. When it comes to marketing (and whatever your marketing choice) for your book or business, you have to do one key and important thing: be persistent . We're going to call this the "persistence factor" or PF. The PF influences your success quotient. PF is directly related to the degree of success. There! Your math quotient for marketing. For those of you who hate math, let's just speak in plain English. You cannot do these things and succeed with your marketing programs: Irregular newsletter : if you're going to write a newsletter, be prepared to WRITE it. I like to do mine weekly. I encourage others to do it weekly not bi-weekly not monthly. Keep your brand in front of your target audience -- that's the point. But if you commit, commit! Don't do it one week and drop it the next week. Persistence builds an expectation -- that newsletter will be in in-boxes regardless. People come to expect your newsletter...

I preach to clients about building their marketing platforms. I say this all the time, "I walk my own talk." Nothing annoys anyone more than "do as I say not as I do." How am I supposed to convince a client (especially as a business owner) to market and promote their companies or books by building a strong marketing platform when I didn't bother to do it myself. It's like trying to sell food that tastes bad. You don't eat it so why should your prospective clients? An investment in your marketing platform (and my platform consists of this blog, First Word newsletter, First Word radio, social media and website) costs a lot of money to get it done right. So my no. #1 advice: build it and build it right ... just like I did. Nothing yanks my proverbial chain more than professionals who don't do it professionally . If you're going to build your platform, rule #1: create a brand identity (use a professional marketing service) and then apply the bran...

Here is an excerpt from my forthcoming book due out in Spring titled Body in the Trunk . This paranormal romance is about a true crime writer and gifted psychic who teams up with a police detective to unravel the mystery surrounding the discovering of a body in the trunk of a Camry.  Chapter 1 I placed her body in the trunk of a silver Toyota Camry. I gazed down at her with my hand still holding the trunk lid. Her dark eyes were glassy now and stared up at me, lifeless, dead and somehow accusing. I took in the measure of her and observed her tan leather, trim-cut jacket; white knit shirt and faded jeans. Her form was bent out of shape and her thick, dark hair mussed with just a hint of dark smeared blood from a single wound that had oozed and created a tangled mess in her long hair. “Dead,” I thought numbly as I closed the trunk. *** One year earlier … It was a sunny fall afternoon. The sun shone in through the sliding glass door and woke me ...

Many Facebook users just go online and set up their personal pages. Most of the time, the average user doesn't give much thought to privacy in general. I thought I would educate social media users about a few privacy issues and some cautionary thoughts. Vital Statistics --yes, Facebook asks for your birthday with the intent to share that information and let people know when to regale you with happy-birthday wishes. Here is the rub -- identity theft. Thieves can slowly gather enough of your vital information to pull together enough data to steal your identity. What you can do is alter your birthday enough so that they can't get a hold of it or don't provide the data at all. The sniff, sniff downside is no birthday wishes on your special event. You might put the actual date wrong and get Happy Un-Birthday wishes if you need to feed your need for acknowledgement. Privacy Settings --you can lock down certain pieces of information two ways. When you set the About informatio...

Recent life chats with friends have brought up the roller coaster theme. One of my friends asked me, "Are you ever going to get off the ride, because at some point you might want to do that." Another friend who is less skeptical of roller coaster rides talked about it differently. I liked her reflections on life's roller coaster ride. She said, "Would you rather take the ride with your hands in the air and a smile on your face? Or would you rather scream all the way through it?" Love that question. I told her once about roller coasters, "I used to be afraid of them. And then one day I thought, "Well, hell nobody really ever dies on the ride so go with it." Life is full of ups and downs as I'm sure you've now picked up on the metaphor. I'm exploring my feelings about a long-time relationship I've had where there have been many extraordinary highs and some definite lows. I'll be honest, I've spent most of the ride screa...

You can do some marketing and promotion for your book without spending a fortune. Here are three tips for promoting your book and building your marketing platform. Tip #1 Get the Maximum Mileage out of FREE Social Media I know time is money, right? Are you using social media to the fullest? If you're not on social media, you should get it moving. Social media doesn't cost money just time and effort. Have fun with it. Create a fan or personal page. Go on once in the morning and post and once in the evening and post. Make sure you're consistent and do it. Post links related to your book (e.g., book reviews and interviews) and keep building your community. The more exposure your book gets the more people will "follow" or connect with you, and the more people connect with you the more exposure for your promotional efforts. But with the price tag of free is simply the best and most economical way to promote your book. Tip #2 Start blogging and tie it to social med...

When I was younger I wanted security and family. I wanted a good, steady career path. I wanted to find a slow, gradual ascent toward my dreams. Then I hit pesky mid-life. I achieved many, many goals. Yet I found I had many more things to accomplish. In my professional life, I realized I wasn't enjoying the career I wanted. In my personal life, my relationship was lopsided and unsatisfying. Mid-life became not a crisis but a time to make some scary, but important decisions. Was I going to look back at my life with regret? Who wants to regret anything? And why not live the fullest possible life? I never considered myself a risk-taker, but in reflecting on the last several years I realized I am definitely a risk-taker. I started my own company on a shoestring budget, and I have succeeded and stayed in business even during this protracted Great Recession. I also met the man of my dreams. Instead of staying in the status quo and accepting my lopsided and unsatisfying marriage, I decid...

I can't think of anything meaningful to share this morning, so I'll just amuse and entertain you. Here is a list of things I find hard not to do... Touch my face : are you smiling. You know they say to avoid spreading germs try not to touch your face. Don't rub your eyes if you're on an airplane (for example) to avoid spreading germs. Of course, the minute I think, "Don't touch it," I just can't seem to stop myself. I feel an itch. Oh, it's my nose. My eye is bothering me ... and on and on it goes. Avoid being the first to text my man . I said in the last blog not to be the chaser. Sometimes though the urge to hit the text first just can't be quelled. I am pretty good, though. I would say out of seven days, I usually score about five out of seven ... well maybe more like four out of seven ... no, five ... LOL. Depends on the week. Girls keep him on his toes. Make and try not to break the first-text rule. Remember what I said, "Guys l...

Continuing my little advice column (from a woman's perspective after having read about from a man's perspective). I want to continue to provide insight I have learned from reading, experience and "hands-on experience." I have never had trouble getting men to commit to a serious relationship, which has always begged the question of what I do that other women don't do. After reading and trying different approaches I noticed certain results that work and other results that don't work ... so here we go on some new tips (remember: I will be creating a Romance blog in the near future). The chase is on the wrong foot . I know the "rules" and some women just eschew the rules. These are the same women who don't get their guys. So something is to be said about the rules. So I have a friend whose ex-lover does the pursuit. I wanted to grab this gal and tell her the one thing every girl's mama should tell her: don't chase the guy ! If your man has ...

I use social media (mostly Facebook ) to promote my business (3L Publishing, www.3LPublishing.com) every day. I have been asked about way to promote books (and businesses) using social media. I am honestly good at some of the tips I'm going to give you and some others not so much. The following are my tips to use effectively use social media to market and promote either your book or business (it works the same): Marketing Tools Connected to Your Social Media : If you have a website, newsletter, blog or Blogtalk Radio show, make sure the social media icons are connected to them. Every e-marketing tool you have should connect to your social media. I call this "interconnected and leveraged" marketing. Each marketing piece ties to social media, and each part drives traffic to the other. Think of it like a circular current or round-about with entrances to invite more traffic. This interconnection of tools invites interest and generates an audience for everything you're d...

I blog almost daily. I don't blog on Sundays (my fingers day of rest). I use Blogger, which has analytics to measure traffic to the site. The "Stats" show which articles are viewed, and the numbers. The average page views per day for this blog are about 50-75. I am always looking for ways to increase readership. Labels or keywords are what pull traffic to the blog. If you blog, pay attention to what "labels" work for your readership to increase. Let me digress. Does your blog have analytics? If not, you should either attach that feature or find a new blog system that provides it. Blogging without measurement of readership is like riding your bike blind: you don't know where you're going and you can crash and burn. What is the point of just slapping up random content that no one reads? I know some bloggers don't care and slap it there anyway. But if you blog for your business you should care. Education-based marketing, which is what good blogs for b...

I remember listening to Alice Walker, author of iconic books such as The Color Purple , speak at UC Davis. I was about 20-years old. She talked about life and experience. One thing she said was that she didn't think writers had anything to really say until their 40's. I was 20 -- and this was discouraging. At the time I remember defiantly thinking I had plenty to say. Well years later, I think I'm inclined to agree. I really didn't have any life experience to draw on. I could imagine the feelings and the experiences all right, but did I understand the "heart" of the experience? No. I had no resources to draw perspective. Fast forward to my 40's, and I've had plenty to say and much experience to understand. In my new book Body in the Trunk , the story revolves around a paranormal romance and duplicity. Having a much broader experience with different kinds of love helped create the layers of emotion in the story. It enabled me to give the character...

So I've signed up for those relationship advice newsletters. You know the ones -- Christian Carter and the like. He gives advice from the man's perspective for women, which I think is valuable given that a woman giving women advice about how men think probably doesn't work. I'll tell you before I get into my little "advice" (I use that word loosely) column that my only experience is my own. I've read all of the books over the years among them the famous Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus ; I've sat in the therapist's chair; I've done all of it. Here is the thing: I don't have trouble getting men to commit to me. I've never really had that problem per se. My problems go more in line with getting them and being happy with them. Getting what I want and need from my man without driving him crazy -- that would be my issue. So, what I'm going to say about "attraction" and commitment is from experience and the ability to att...

I edit and read books every day. I know some people are thinking, "You get to read books for a living? Cool! Where do I get that job?" (BTW, if you want that job get a degree in English and find a job as a book editor). I once had a friend of mine say, "I never see you read." Well, friends I read every day all day. So when I'm on vacation don't expect to see my nose in a book. Anyway I digress ... so in reading every day and analyzing writing I see common mistakes. I thought I would share: Redundancy : how many times in a sentence or paragraph can you use the same word twice? The answer is never. It reads and sounds better if you use the same word once. I always suggest that you pull up the Thesaurus if you're having trouble coming up with new words. My joke, "A Thesaurus is a writers best friend." Once in a while it's understandable when you have to use a certain word more than once, but the general rule is to avoid it. Its vs. It'...

I am continually amused and entertained by the social media "social" contingent out there trolling for booty. I am constantly messaged and asked out. But here is what I find the most a. aggravating or b. weird. Relationship status or invisible relationship status has a lot of meaning . First, relationship status is often hidden for reasons others may not understand (e.g., privacy and identity theft). In my case the fact that relationship status is missing is because (and get this one), I'm involved in a "private" relationship. I don't have it publicly showing for reasons that are private to that relationship. Not everyone wants to broadcast their personal lives. I don't feel it's necessary to post anything about it. Even when I was married I didn't feel the need to post anything about it. I am on social media primarily to market my business. If you're out "looking for Mrs. or Mr. Goodbar" why don't you pay attention to that pe...