I have now had the unfortunate encounter with two different situations where trusted people blatantly lied to me (The Queen of Crap and now the Queen of Crap JR -- two monikers well earned). Rather than be discouraged that I can't trust people who I thought I could trust -- and in one case, the person was someone I thought was a loyal friend ... well, until she was no longer. In retrospect, I considered all the duplicity and disingenuous behavior and decided rather than not trust colleagues and associates, I would instead learn from the red flags that were raised. Here are some important observations I've made that may help others learn from my mistakes:
If someone conducts their personal lives in a unethical way, don't instantly believe they will separate their personal from their professional ethics. This person burned family, lied, connived and admitted it. I remember thinking at the time it was alarming. I didn't know anyone who had ever done something so low. It should of red-flagged it for me that if a person claims to love their family and then deceives, lies and manipulates them that perhaps you're not long to be taken advantage of and lied to as well. Most people say, "It's not personal; it's business." Well, I've discovered there is blurred line there. If you're involved or associated with a business person who would do something very immoral and unethical to someone in their family chances are you are not going to be protected from the same kind of behavior. Buyer beware if someone confesses something disturbing to you and clearly something that would bother your sense of ethics. You might want to get out of their way.
Patterns of behavior don't change just because you think you are someone's friend. If you see someone overtly lie about something, over inflate the truth, or just overtly hide the truth -- not to you but to someone they are associated with, again, get out of the way. Don't ever assume that if someone lies to others you would not be the target of their inability to tell fact from fiction. In one case, I was unpleasantly surprised and frankly disappointed (because I still wanted to think the best of this person) to find out how many different ways south of the truth this person had lied to me. Keep a keen ear and really listen to what other people say and whether or not it matches up to what you know is true. If you hear even a series of white lies, watch out. People who are adept at "white lies" are probably good liars in general. I also find it rather interesting that the Queen of Crap JR attracted in the Queen of Crap -- laws of attraction? Probably!
Forgiveness is always important. I think to be at peace with things, you have to take responsibility for your end. If you ignored a situation, whose bad is it anyway? And then you have to release it. Forgive yourself for being human; but don't ignorantly move forward and not learn your lessons. And I hope by my sharing this, that others will learn from my mistakes. So, if that is the "good" that comes out of my lessons, then I think that is the ray of light.
Life is a journey. It's what you learn from the journey that counts and makes you a better human being. And Queen of Crap JR -- if you read this, just know you got caught (your lies were all exposed). I know everything! I forgive you; but stay away from all of us!