Wednesday, July 19, 2017
The Power Chord to My Heart
Now that I'm on the other side of the transformation and floating nicely in the current of my life, I'm going to open up. When I share my personal life, it's an endeavor to help enlighten others. If I can give back to the world through the lessons of life experience hopefully you'll either avoid the same pitfalls or nod and laugh, thinking, "Yes!"
Something important happened in the last year. Something quite literally "mind altering". After falling into the depth of depression and suffering some major life changes and losses, I woke up. I looked at my life and I wondered, "How did I get here?" I was broke, heart broken, and depressed.
I had allowed negativity to take over my positive outlook. I had allowed the negative to cloud the positive. I was living in perpetual fear and anger. I had lashed out at the world. The key though: I had lashed out at me. While I blamed others, I put the most blame and anger aimed at my own heart and soul. It was my fault other people had lied to me. It was my fault, period. Why give so much blame away when I could keep it and marinate it?
A few things happened. I hit rock bottom ... or at least hit the furthest part of my bottom I allowed myself to go. I was doing anything and everything to survive. I wasn't trusting others and I most certainly didn't trust myself. After all, I was the culprit in my own pain and self-blame. Why not heap more inward recrimination, right? Wrong!
About that time, it hit me. I had always lived my life following my passion and purpose, which is to be a storyteller and publisher. Now in my despair and desperation, I had lost my way. I knew what was my purpose and passion, but I was floundering in the desperation and fear vs. confidence and fearlessness.
This is when my daughter's middle name "Faith" kept coming up. Where was my faith? Where was my confidence? How was I going to get back on track. FAITH followed by focus on purpose and action to make it happen.
First, I did the scariest thing ever -- I embraced my fearlessness. Yes, it's an oxymoron when you think about it. I had to have the courage and the faith to be brave. I had to KNOW my purpose and follow it regardless of money or unpaid bills. I had to quit looking back and look forward. Then I took ACTION. I put all of my energy toward rebuilding my business and putting myself BACK on the right path. I had to quit jobs that did nothing more than pay a bill and fully believe that following my purpose would indeed MORE than pay bills but reward my life.
Then I had to address the negative self-blame and lack of self-love. I had to quit looking in the mirror and picking on myself. My joke goes like this: An Olympic athlete doesn't look in the mirror and say, "I'm going to lose today."
Instead, I decided to spend my last 15 minutes before I got out of bed meditating and creating my vision for my ideal life. I started using life-affirming mantras all aimed at positive "I am" statements. Then when I faced that mirror in the bathroom, I quit finding negative thoughts about my body or looks. I used positive statements once more using the "I am" in front of it.
Guess what as energy goes and creates, the negative lifted to be replaced with the positive. What seemed difficult just six months earlier now effortlessly happened. A weight lifted. A lightness of being overcame my heart.
And then I made the final step: forgiveness! I had to forgive those who had trespassed against me. Some of my friends and family fought me on that one. I shouldn't forgive anything. But forgiveness isn't for THEM! It's for ME.
And that weight lifted just a little more ... till it became more like a feather. My mind cleared. My energy lightened. My life transformed!
Where are you at in your journey? If it's become dark, just start with the basics. First, find your purpose. It's a good place to start on your road to recovery!
If you want a more specific assist with your journey, here is a link to my book Second Bloom: 10 Steps to Rejuvenate and Realize a New Life. (Buy Here)